Two Rules
by alliewren414
Summary: Tumblr prompt from damareyprompts. Rey is a bartender at a strip club but doesn't have to wear the sexy costume bc her boss finds her sexless. AU; potential WIP otherwise dangly oneshot. Ben Solo is waywayway out of character. antireylo rated t for mentions of childhood trauma and characters consuming alcohol.
1. 1 Two Rules

a/n: Damarey Prompt found on tumblr. Rey is actually a bartender at a strip club, and doesn't have to wear the sexy costumes since her employer doesn't find her sexual.Poe is taken there by a friend who just got broken up with, but is generally uncomfortable.

disclaimer: I don't own star wars I just have the incessant need to meddle with its characters.

**Two Rules**

"Ugh, remind me again why I'm here, Finn? Buddy, ole pal? You know that I hated these places even BEFORE going out with Jessica," Poe was on the verge of whining. But he would never do such a disgraceful thing (in public anyway), not after having been so recently (and very publically) dumped by his long term girlfriend (almost fiance, but who's counting).

"Honestly, Poe?" His dark-skinned best friend looked over his shoulder at him, "this was Rosie's idea, because she knows the bouncer we can get in without standing in line. I hate these places, goes against everything I grew up with."

Poe's best friend, Finn, grew up in various foster homes; having been either abandoned or abducted, the details are vague, as an infant. He was tossed around from home to home, never really settling or fitting in anywhere, and then he escaped as soon as he aged out. Because everyone in the world expected him to fail and fall back into the system or into prison, naturally Finn did the opposite. He's now the co-owner of a major tech company that supplies the armed forces with all of the loot needed to fix up any and all machines; which is unremarkable on its own, but Finn and his fiance Rose had found a way to package these pieces in cheap, virtually indestructible, and easily assembled and disassembled as needed ways. They essentially patented the building blocks to any and all major parts which, in turn, saved the armed forces a fuck ton of unnecessary money, and that money went right back to the soldiers in the forms of other equiptment - mainly the quality of their rations.

Finn's lovely fiance had sent the boys on a mission - to get Poe's mind off of his recent ex. She had found out he was planning on proposing, and instead of letting him down gently, she planned a massive party wherein every single person either one of them had ever met was invited, and promptly dumped him at the height of the party. Poe was still licking his wounds and nursing his pride at Finn and Rose's condo - which is likely what led to Rose pushing them out the door with a promise of quick entry into the city's hottest, most sought after strip club.

Which brought them to where they were, flashing their IDs to the bouncer - Chewie, they called him (nobody was sure why, but he was a good friend to Rose's aunt, who also knew Poe's aunt Leia - it's a web that neither Poe nor Finn nor Rose had the patience to untangle).

Finn immediately dragged Poe to the bar, both men ducked their heads and trained their eyes to the working bartenders. Avoiding the wall of dancing nearly naked women, throwing themselves around on poles. Shaking their barely covered selves in front of the other patrons of the establishment. Poe couldn't lie, what they did was awe-inspiring and immensely impressive. But it also made him deeply uncomfortable. He wasn't going to forbid women from doing what they wanted with their bodies, but he also wasn't the type to openly ogle a woman, or even indulge himself in fantasies about women he wasn't previously intimate with. He was a stickler for tradition, but he wasn't going to stand in the way of an independent woman - his mother had taught him better.

At the bar itself there were three bartenders were working - well two worked, one was barking orders. The two working bartenders could not have been more different at a glance. The first one Poe noticed was a giant - he had long dark hair thrown up into a messy bun, dramatic features, and shoulders that could rival Chewie at the door. The second bartender was a slight young man - so slight he almost seemed avian - his hair was also in a bun but it was much more severe. The two danced around each other in a graceful sort of way, each making at least three drinks that Poe could decipher from his seat at the bar. The third man was, in a word, ugly. But in a deeply unsettling way.

"Girl!" The unsettling man barked.

Poe was startled, looking around quickly to determine who he was talking to, he couldn't see any girls.

"Plutt," the smaller of the bartenders answered flatly.

Poe and Finn exchanged glances, apparently Finn had also assumed that the small girl was a boy.

"Go check on the kegs in the back, it's going to be hell tonight and I don't need to run out of any beer on tap. I need both you and Ben on the floor at all times unless absolutely necessary, understand?" The man left no room for debate.

"Of course, I'll get right on that." The small woman handed her finished cocktails to her waiting customers and deftly slid behind the larger man - Ben.

If he wasn't watching, Poe wouldn't have noticed the subtle way that Ben ensured that his body was constantly between the woman and the man she called Plutt. Apparently he wasn't the only one that found him repulsive.

"Poe!" Finn's voice interrupted his reverie.

Poe blinked, "I'm sorry?" He leaned towards his friend, making it obvious that he hadn't heard him.

"Your friend wants to know what you want to drink, and to keep it coming because your ex is a piece of shit, apparently," Ben said to Poe, finishing the round of cocktails he was making and sliding them down the bar with a flourish.

"Rum and coke, double," Poe answered.

Finn snorted, "that is not his order. That's what Jessica told him to start drinking so he seemed more 'manly' when they would go out to bars and stuff. Order your real drink, Poe. You know who gives a fuck? Literally no one."

Poe cast his eyes down, ashamed at being called out so blatantly. Finn was never one for subtlety, his upbringing didn't allow it in the slightest; while embarrassed, Poe would never hold it against Finn.

Ben stood, waiting patiently while Poe's cheeks and ears flushed.

Poe could practically hear Finn rolling his eyes as he stumbled over his own tongue, completely lost for words.

"He seems like a Sex on the Beach kinda guy to me," a small voice interjected.

The small bartender had reappeared; Poe did a quick visual scan - no name tag, damnit. But holy shit.

She is absolutely gorgeous. Poe found himself thinking. She was very frail, almost in a scary way, but she had a very healthy face. That's an odd way to describe it, Dameron, don't say that out loud to her please for the love of god.

She had large brown eyes, straight teeth, and a dimple on her cheek. Her severe bun had been loosened a bit while she went to check on the back, so now slight curls framed her delicate face.

She tilted her head slightly, examining Poe, "or maybe a Kamikaze."

"I was going to say the same thing," Ben replied to her smoothly, knocking Poe out of his assessment of the girl while casually placing himself between her and Plutt again. "But not for the whole night. Start him with two Kamikazes and then give him screwdrivers until he orders something else."

The female bartender nodded her approval.

Finn let out a nervous chuckle, "that was…actually pretty accurate. And please do the same for me."

Poe leaned forward, "hold on, I have a rule about drinking."

Ben leaned onto his hands, towering over Poe, "so does this bar and any self respecting bartender in the world. Every two drinks you get a 12oz glass of water and you don't get to drink anything else until that's done."

The female bartender nodded, "stand down, Solo, he was just informing you about his rule, not trying to undermine yours - which isn't even casually advertised by the way."

"Oh, I'm sorry R-" Ben was interrupted by her slamming her elbow into his sternum.

"Kenobi!" Plutt barked. "Unless you want to be out on your ass you will not treat your superiors with such disgrace! One more stunt like that and you're fired, no questions asked. I can hire another girl who is actually something to look out and forget about you before the night's out!" Plutt's eyes disgustingly slid over the young woman in such a way that made even Poe feel dirty and exposed. "Get your ass back to work!" He threw his arm out to send her on her way past him.

The young woman remained in her spot and began making Finn and Poe their shots, as if Plutt hadn't said a word.

"Kenobi," Plutt sneered.

She ignored him as she deftly poured the shaken drink into the tiny glasses.

"Kenobi," he was losing his patience.

Remaining impassive, she added the spritz of lime to each one dramatically.

"Rey!" Plutt shouted.

This got her attention. "Plutt I have one rule," she seethed.

"My office, now." Plutt threw his arm out dramatically signalling her to lead the way.

"Of course, sir." The girl, Rey Kenobi, walked past Ben, who realized he was in no position to protect her from their boss, and then past Plutt.

Poe thought she would pass without incident but of course not. As soon as even Rey thought she was in the clear Plutt's hand swung and came in contact with her (rather shapely, Poe thought) bum with a resounding smack.

Suddenly, before Poe even had time to blink, Plutt had his face on the bar, drinks scattered everywhere.

Apparently this was a somewhat regular occurrence in the place, because almost none of the patrons looked to see the commotion. So either it wasn't uncommon or everyone was too drunk to care.

Or, Poe thought to himself, every single person in this room thought he had it coming.

Rey had Plutt's head pushed down with one hand, and the offending hand of his twisted behind him with the other, her knee was pressed firmly onto the small of his back making sure he wasn't going anywhere without hurting himself.

"One. Rule." She whispered softly.

Plutt stammered from his position on the bartop. "Solo! Get your mutt off of me!" He shouted at the giant indignantly

Ben cleaned the counter top, seemingly unaware of his boss' precarious position, "I don't see anything wrong with this situation you landed yourself in, Unkar," he smiled darkly. "You know she has two rules, one she's blatant about and one that's just basic human decency. Do not say her name in this establishment and hands off. You've managed to break both in a matter of seconds."

Poe stared incredulously at the conversation taking place in front of him.

"You'd best take those shots before they get too warm, Kamikaze's taste like shit when they're not cold," Ben nodded at the shots in front of Poe and Finn. "Don't worry about the tab, it's on Unkar for being an absolute shitbag. Leave us be, she's okay."

Finn did not need telling twice, he slammed his shots and abruptly spun away from the confrontation; he had developed a slight fear of men who were larger than him and would follow their instruction to a fault in order to avoid any potential hazardous situations.

Poe threw a $100 on the table anyway, "Give your friend the change," he said studiously avoiding her name. He quickly tossed down both shots and walked out of the bar.

"Hey," a soft voice broke through her anger, Ben, "let him go, he's not going to hurt you again."

Rey stared at Unkar Plutt hard, "if you ever so much as think of laying another hand on my I will remove your hands, do you understand me?"

Unkar nodded to the best of his ability, with his head being held against the bartop.

"Take the night, Rey. I'll transfer you all of the tips from tonight to make up for it. Go home, I've got this." Ben assured her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder, easing her away from her boss and harasser.

She couldn't afford to take a Saturday night off, but she also couldn't guarantee her employer's survival if she stayed. After a moment's thought she decided that eating tinned meals for a week was better than not having a job at all, regardless of who she worked for.

"Alright, don't send me all of the tips, just some," she smiled sheepishly at Ben, who was very protective of her, but also very gay. Something she had learned about a week after she got hired at Jakku Gentlemen's Club.

She never brings anything to work with her that doesn't fit in the pocket of her jacket, which she keeps under the bar, so she was out the front door fairly quickly - Unkar did not like her in the back since that's where the 'exotic' dancers got ready, and all the other bartenders were male. Since she travelled so light she didn't even think to mind, but the downside was that she could never have opening hours since she wasn't allowed in through the back door.

She walked out the front door, cell phone in hand, and fist-bumped Chewie without even looking up. "I'll see you tomorrow, Chewie. Don't give Plutt too much trouble for being an ass, he can't help it and we both need to keep our jobs."

Chewie growled a response.

"Did you see what she did? I blinked and missed it, but before I could even think of stepping in she had his head on the bartop! I've never seen anyone move that fast before!" The man that she had served right before her untimely dismissal was a few feet from the door, blabbing a mile a minute to his darker-skinned friend who had left with him.

"What are we going to tell Rosie? She expected us gone most of the night and here we are walking out of her only idea not even an hour after leaving the apartment." The darker-skinned man sighed, exasperated.

"Sorry," she butted in, "not trying to eavesdrop or intrude, but there are much better bars around here if you'd like to go. Since I'm the reason you left I could take you to one that I can just budge to the front of the line."

She had barely finished her sentence before the olive toned man was shaking his head. "Nonsense," he insisted.

She furrowed her brow, "I'm very sorry you had to witness that, I promise I'm not always so aggressive. Really, it's not too much trouble for me to help you guys skip a line at another club."

"Honestly, I have no interest in going to another club," the man scoffed, "I hate those places."

At the tone of his voice Rey felt herself shrink, "alright, well if there's any way I can make it up to you let me know. I'll just be over there, waiting for my bus."

Finn pulled Poe aside as the young woman walked the short distance to the bus stop. "Poe, mind yourself."

Poe shook his head at Finn, his frown remaining in place, "what the kriff are you talking about?"

Finn rolled his eyes and nodded his head meaningfully at the girl. "I recognize those mannerisms, she's scared of you."

"Of me?!"

"You're being very loud and sounding very angry," Finn said flatly, "she may come from a home where that means eventual pain. Be nice, it's not her fault that her boss is a creep."

Poe started, "that's not what I meant at all, oh my god I'm an idiot."

"At least you're aware, come on, let's go introduce ourselves properly."


	2. 2 Grounding

**Grounding**

Rey could feel her breaths coming in short gasps, her chest was constricting, her palms were sweating. She needed to calm down or she was going to faint at the bus stop.

It certainly didn't help that it was freezing outside, so the air that was making it to her lungs was freezing. A recipe for disaster if she was ever aware of one.

"5 things," she muttered, casting her eyes around her warily. "Random man number 1's red toque, child wearing purple parka, bus stop bench, poodle wearing booties, sign for generic and disgusting coffee place," her panicked breaths came slower now.

"Four," she sighed running her hands over herself, "jacket button, hair tie, sunglasses, metro pass," she could feel her heart rate returning to an almost normal pace.

"Three," she tilted her head to hone in on the miniscule sounds around her as the dark edges to her vision receded, "slight wind, nervous laughter, an abundance of traffic."

Although Rey was feeling more like herself she carried on with her grounding exercise.

"Two," she grimaced. She hated doing this one while out and about because she never knew what she was going to smell. She inhaled deeply, "smells like it might snow tonight, and… citrus?" she muttered to herself, instantly confused.

"Sorry ma'am, that's me," a vaguely familiar voice said quietly.

Rey was instantly on high alert, shifting her feet into a defensive stance she cast her eyes to the voice. It was the man's friend from the bar.

"It's okay," he held his hands away from his body, fingers splayed wide, like she was a frightened dog, "you're on one, right? One thing you can taste? I'm going to reach into my pocket right now and grab some gum. I don't know if you're a fan of peppermint, but I know that I'm not a fan of the coppery aftertaste of a panic attack."

Rey stared at the man incredulously as he reached into his pocket and pulled out, sure enough, gum. She _did_ hate the coppery taste in her mouth, and usually had mints on her for that precise reason. Unfortunately, or rather fortunately, her panic attacks have been few and far between so she had been less diligent about her preparations.

"My name is Finn," the man said smiling politely while holding out the pack of gum, ensuring that he was as far from her as he could. "Finn Storm."

"I'm not going to attack you, you know," she replied, reaching for the gum.

"Hey, right after I'm done with an attack I either want nothing to do with anyone or I want to be snuggled into oblivion. I wasn't sure which way you would fall on that scale, not that I'm in a position to offer you snuggles, but I figured you would 8appreciate some space."

He wasn't wrong, but she wasn't about to tell him that. "Where's your friend?"

"Poe?"

"I guess?" she never did get his name.

"Poe Dameron," the man in question appeared behind Finn Storm, hand outstretched to shake hers.'

"Hullo Poe Dameron," she smiled at him shyly. "Sorry about all that in there - " she started.

"It's nothing to worry about," he smiled gently at her, keeping his voice low and calm with his hands in plain sight.

Finn must have spoken to him, Rey thought, then immediately followed by her therapist's voice: if you want them to be your friends you need to be more clear about what exactly set you off so they feel more informed.

Nodding once to herself as if acknowledging her therapists words, she looked up at her boys again.

_My boys? _She questioned herself, making eye contact with Poe.

She quickly gave him a once over, not allowing her eyes to linger as she wanted them to, lest she give him the wrong impression.

She was very impressed with what she saw: long, muscular legs which led to very nice hips, and - not that she could see - likely a rather shapely bum; a lean figure, but broad chest and shoulders; square jaw, dimpled chin, and startlingly strong but handsome features; all topped with a healthy head of dark curly hair. It may have been a trick of the light but she swore she could see a few faint slivers of grey in his curly mop, but she wouldn't dwell on that.

She noticed absently that his hand was still outstretched, waiting for hers to shake.

"Oh gosh, I'm so sorry!" She reached out to him and gave him a firm handshake without thinking about it.

He looked momentarily startled, but returned the handshake with vigour. "Poe Dameron," he repeated.

"Oh fuck, sorry!" She realized she didn't give her name, carefully shifting her eyes up to the line of people going into her bar she spied a few regulars eagerly watching the interaction, "not here, okay? Soon."

She gripped Poe's hand again and lead him and his friend, Finn, back to the bus stop just in time.

The doors to the bus opened and she dragged Poe on with her, followed closely by Finn.

"They're with me, Gwen," she smiled at the blonde bus driver, "I'm taking them to see Maz, shall I grab you anything while I'm there?"

"Just a pick me up if you don't mind, love," Gwen smiled warmly at Rey, keeping a careful eye on the line of patrons.

_Apparently not speaking her name near this bar is common among her acquaintances. _Poe found himself thinking as she led them to the back of the bus where three seats near each other were available.

Finn sat so the girl was in the middle, "so where are we going?"

"Maz's," she replied like they were supposed to know what that was.

"I'm sorry?" Poe questioned.

"She'll take care of us, promise. Since you're not in the mood for more clubbing tonight, I figured I at least owe you guys a good place to eat. I'm losing out on wages tonight though, so it is decidedly not all on me, but she makes good food. Consider my repentance to be showing you this place exists."

She said it all in one big rush of words.

"Woah woah woah, sunshine, calm down." Poe put his hands up in mock surrender, "we're not expecting anything from you for us leaving the bar. We left on our own, Ben would have taken care of us for the whole night if we stayed, but Finn over there is in a relationship, and I am deeply uncomfortable around naked women in non-intimate settings."

She ignored the endearment and snickered, "Beg pardon?"

"What?"

"She's likely wondering why you were at a notorious strip club if you weren't there for the naked women, and I have to take the blame for that one," Finn interjected, "Poe just went through some stuff and my fiance thought he needed the night out. She knows the bouncer and told him to let us in right away."

"She knows Chewie?"

"Yeah he knows her aunt or something. He also knows Poe's aunt." Finn nodded, glancing at Poe.

The girl turned to Poe, "Your aunt is Leia Organa?"

Poe blanched, "how did you know that?"

"There's only two women that Chewie is friendly with that aren't me and Maz," she shrugged, "and I know Leia too. She's Ben's mother."

Poe and Finn were both taken aback, "What?!"

"This is us," she stood and pulled the indicator, "I'm Rey, by the way. But don't call me sunshine, we're not that friendly yet."

Momentarily forgetting his confusing, Poe beamed.

_Damn he has nice teeth too, _Rey thought, _and __**dimples**__. _Rey was a sucker for dimples, not that she'd tell anyone that.

Poe's smile lit the entire bus, "but it works out so _perfectly! _Little. Rey. Of sunshiiiiine." He practically sang, taking a dramatic step to punctuate every word.

"God, Maz is going to _love_ you." Rey grinned as they stepped off the bus in front of a homey little diner.


	3. 3 Sunshine at Maz

Disclaimer: I do not own star wars

Rey walked into Maz's the way anyone else might walk into their own home. She took her coat off as she opened the door, and pulled the elastic out of her hair before it closed. She shook her hair out to loosen it from the severe knot, and a dimpled smile lit up her face.

Rey of absolute sunshine, Poe thought.

"Heyhey!" Rey called out.

"REY NIIMA KENOBI!" A voice called out.

Rey flushed, "I mean technically it's just Rey Niima, I don't think old Ben meant it."

"He meant it enough to legally change it before you officially aged out, and went out of his way to ensure that Unkar Plutt would keep mostly in line. He meant it Miss Kenobi."

Rey flushed crimson while Maz led them to a small table, able to technically seat four but it was surrounded by three squashy armchairs.

"Your usual table, Rey," Maz smiled warmly.

"Plutt was most certainly no where near the line tonight," Poe interjected, not caring that he had never met this woman before. She seemed motherly and Poe was ready to rant.

"But it wasn't a big deal!" Rey cut in before Poe got going. "I need the job, and Mr. Kenobi has nothing to worry about, I'm not running away from any problems or causing any new ones. Everything is fine." Her tone held an edge of finality.

Poe looked at Finn, who shrugged in defeat, but decidedly ignored both of them.

"Unkar Plutt called her a mutt and then slapped her bottom with the whole of his hand, and threatened to fire her for having boundaries." He said it all in one breath while studiously ignoring the glare coming from both Rey and Finn.

Maz glared through her coke bottle lenses at Rey.

Poe shifted uneasily as the two women stared each other down, unsure of who was going to relent first.

"That is none of your business," Rey seethed through clenched teeth. "I've got a handle on this, now please. Serve my new friends since they left my bar out of sheer discomfort. Do your thing - " she visibly deflated, "-please."

Maz flicked her eyes to the ceiling for a moment, as if consulting a higher power, before nodding sharply, mostly to herself. "Alright, youngling, I'll be right back with your food," then she spun on her heel and stalked away.

After a few tense moments of silence, Finn spoke: "did we order anything? I don't remember ordering anything?"

"She just knows," Rey sighed.

The trio awkwardly sat in their respective squashy chairs, wiggling and adjusting their limbs to get comfortable. Rey sat with her knees pulled up to her chest, shoes abandoned under the table, hugging herself tightly - as if she was trying to be as small as possible.

Finn sat comfortably and stiffly, somehow. Feet planted firmly on the ground, forearms resting on either arm of the chair with his hands splayed open, ready to run if need be. But he allowed his torso to relax into the cushion of his chair, ready to run but also comfortable.

Poe was practically engulfed by his chair, knees splayed apart, but he kept his ankles pressed against the bottom of the chair, not wanting to invade anyones foot space - even if their feet weren't occupying their respective space.

They sat for a few moments, studying each other in silence.

"What did Maz mean?" Poe asked, tilting his head inquisitively at Rey.

"Which part? She's very vague and fantastic, you have to be more specific."

"Before you 'officially' aged out," Poe held up his hands for air quotes.

"Ah," Rey laid her cheek on her knee.

Poe could see some tension rise in Rey's shoulders as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

Poe looked over to Finn, who shrugged and gave him a look that said 'Wait.'

So Poe waited, patiently and quietly, as he watched Rey take 10 deep breaths and loosened some of the tension that rose in her shoulders.

"Well, I guess it's been made obvious that I lived in the foster system," Rey began quietly, "but I was living on my own before I officially aged out, so while I was on my own I was still technically a ward and whatnot. I don't fully understand it myself, but I could be taken back into the system if a social worker or law enforcement person saw fit. I think anyway, it's all still very confusing to me, but Dr. Jinn is trying to talk me through understanding it."

Poe and Finn raised their brows at the mention of a Doctor, not sure who she was referring to, but both decided to remain silent until the end of her explanation.

"So anyway, old Ben found me and took me in one night while I was scavenging around for something to eat. It was -" she paused and looked thoughtful for a second, "- about a year and a half ago? Maybe? That he found me and took me into his home. But I was less than a month from aging out completely so he saw no point in trying to legally adopt, besides I was mostly an adult anyway."

"Hold on, how old are you?" Poe asked, suddenly all too aware of their age gap.

"23," she replied.

"But? You aged out last year??"

"Almost 2 years ago, thank you, and I was a special case."

"What? Why?"

Maz chose this moment to drop in with their food that they didn't order.

"Bacon cheeseburger, extra bacon, extra tomatoes, no mustard. With onion rings and fries, and a vanilla shake, and an ice water that is mostly ice for Rey."

She placed a small mountain of food in front of Rey.

"Double decker BLT with onion and chipotle, and some extra crunchy fries with a coke for Mr. Dameron," she smiled at Poe while placing a plate and his drink in front of him.

"And of course, ham and salami with swiss on rye, with tomatoes, mayo, chipotle, and a pickle on the side, with curly fries and rootbeer float for Finn."

Rey smiled appreciatively at Maz, "add mine to my tab please."

"Absolutely not," Poe and Maz said at the same time.

Poe stared at Maz as she said "all of it is on me tonight. But hold tight, I have a feeling I know where this conversation is going and I need to close up before you continue. Eat up, talk less but hold your thoughts and questions til I come back."

Poe and Finn looked at Rey, trying to see if this was a regular occurence or not.

Rey looked at them both in turn, then shrugged and picked up her massive burger.

The boys shrugged and dug in.

Several minutes passed in near silence, with one of the trio occasionally taking sips of their drinks.

None of them noticed that Maz had turned off the open sign and was casually shooing other customers out after they had finished and paid.

Poe was about halfway through his meal when he realized: "I never told her my name."

Finn paused mid-chew, and shook his head. Finn didn't tell her his name either.

Rey seemed nonplussed, "Maz does that."

"Alright!" Maz yelled as if she were summoned.

Poe looked around and realized they were the only ones left in the diner. "Rey I thought you said this place was open late? Doesn't their sign say 24 hours?"

Again, Rey shrugged, "Maz," was all she had to say.

The woman in question appeared at their table. "There are many things each of you is holding back, and if you want this triage to survive and flourish this needs to happen. Tonight. Before you go any further."

Poe looked at Rey and Finn, both seemed just as confused as he. "Sorry?"

Something almost gleeful glinted in Maz's eye.

"Just get on with it, not everyone has time for dramatics," Rey teased.

Maz flicked her eyes to Rey with a withering look that would make lesser men shrivel in their seats.

Rey merely flicked her eyebrows up in response, as if saying I dare you.

Maz laughed heartily and slammed a huge bottle of whiskey on the table.

"It is time to get all those pesky little secrets of yours out in the open, my dear!" She said to Rey, almost cackling as she did.

a/n: please review!


	4. 4 Spilled Secrets and Revealed Whiskey

Rey's eyes bulged out of her skull, "I beg your pardon?"

Maz grinned evilly at Rey, "don't you worry, I'll join in too. I have just as much to spill about the lot of you as you have to each other. But no matter, let's get this on with." Maz managed to wrestle another chair around the squashed table.

"What is happening right now?" Finn asked, his brow furrowing and his mouth resting in a slight pout.

"Absolutely nothing, if I have any say in it," Rey replied.

"Well then it's a good thing you don't. Rules are simple. Take a drink, tell a secret. The worse the secret is the more you drink. No winner, no loser, just a massive exchange of knowledge."

"How will we be getting home after this?" Poe asked, mildly intrigued.

"I have that settled as well," Maz replied as the bell above the door rang, indicating the entrance of another person.

"Ben Solo!" Maz called out without looking up, "lock the door and pull the blinds, we're all here. Did you bring your dad's van like I told you?"

"The _Falcon?_ Of course I did aunty."

"Aunty?!" Poe and Finn screeched.

"Wait hold on, you know my aunty Leia, and Rose's mom," Poe sat up a little straighter, squaring off with Ben.

"I don't _know_ your aunty Leia, she's my _mother_, that's a great deal more than _knowing_, no?" Ben's lips pursed into a small grin.

"Oh enough of your sass, boy. I changed your diapers and taught you to write. I don't need that attitude in my shop," Maz's voice held no venom, and her eyes were full of mirth, "kitchen, now. Do something about that hair."

"Wait, hold on." Rey shot up from her seat. "Who's at the bar? What's going on here?"

Ben snorted, tying his hair into a bun and walking towards the kitchen, "ask dearest aunty Maz. That should be a good story."

Rey plopped back into her chair, thoroughly dismissed, "what did you do?" she demanded turning towards Maz.

"Alright, that's a good a start as any I guess." Maz opened the bottle of whiskey and took a long pull before starting: "I called Plutt and threatened to turn him inside out if he didn't let Ben come here tonight. And also told him that if he ever laid a hand on you again he would no longer have hands."

"That was worth that much whiskey?" Poe asked.

"Have you ever spoken to Plutt?" Maz shot back.

Rey nodded in understanding, "she has a point. Who's next?"

"Clockwise!" Poe and Finn both said, seeing that Rey was on Maz's immediate left.

"Bastards," Rey smiled, reaching for the bottle. "But why is Ben here anyway?"

"Because he can be an interesting fourth to this little trio. Definitely not a constant, maybe not as closely intertwined the way you will undoubtedly be, but he's a good person to have in your corner."

Rey considered her words in silence, then nodded to herself, "well alright then."

"Are you going to take your drink or not?" Maz demanded, "start with Kenobi, that's a safe topic isn't it?"

Rey snorted.

"Rey just accept you have almost no safe topics!" Ben's voice carried from the kitchen.

"I'd appreciate it if you kept your irritatingly sensitive ears to yourself Benjamin Chewbacca Solo!" Rey shouted with mirth.

"That is _not_ my middle name Rey Niima Kenobi!" He hollered back, but everyone could hear the smile in his voice.

Rey snuggled back into her chair, cradling the giant bottle, as if she had been thrown off the deep end into her mind.

"Don't think, dear," Maz suggested, "just take a drink and say whatever comes out of your mouth."

Rey nodded in agreement, "that might be the best way to go."

She brought the bottle to her lips and took a long pull, so much so that the boys thought that it wasn't whiskey in the bottle at all.

When she pulled the bottle away she hissed through her teeth, then she allowed her eyes to glaze over and took a deep breath.

"My parents left me in a literal garbage can when I was 2, and then I was put into foster care. I mentioned I was a special case earlier because apparently for the first two years after I had been taken into the system I didn't talk so they thought something was wrong with me. Then all the medical tests and therapist visits didn't point out anything wrong with me so they put me on their 'will likely need care into adulthood' list, and then working with Dr. Jinn we eventually got that revoked which is why I only aged out 2 years ago instead of when I was 18. One of the first homes I was put in turned out to be a sex trade, where they took in little children and then sold their virginities to the highest bidder, or would sell them as literal slaves. Not a good place, but Dr. Jinn noticed some bruises on my arms before anything serious happened to me and had the entire family investigated and now a lot of them are in prison. I bounced around to a lot of homes and wound up living on the streets because my second to last one would just collect the money and send me on my way while making sure there was no food or any valuables in the house so I couldn't even steal anything - not that I would, mind you, but still. They made sure they weren't a resource for me in the slightest. Old Ben found me digging through his trash one night and took me in, I didn't go right away, but he also didn't call the police and left covered food out on his closed patio and left the door unlocked for me so after about a week I went in and he took me in and that was two years ago and that's that."

The room was deadly silent.

Rey's eyes glazed over again, she took another drink from the bottle before gently setting it on the table.

Without looking at anyone Rey silently rose to her feet, wiped her hands on her jeans, removed herself from the circle of chairs and walked towards the kitchen.

"Excuse me," she muttered upon her departure.

Poe reached over to the bottle of whiskey and took a drink himself.

Finn wrung his hands, "I don't think we were meant to spill all secrets at once, that was a lot. Was that a lot? That was a lot." He was babbling nervously.

Maz snorted just as the door to the kitchen swung open.

"Oh please, you pansys," Ben scolded, stomping towards the table.

Poe didn't think he meant to stomp, he just had really long legs and it was really the only way he could move without intentionally being graceful. _No one has the energy for that,_ he thought.

"She didn't even mention her creepy former foster brother, or her other creepy former foster dad. Just because nothing bad happened in the home she mentioned doesn't mean nothing bad happened at all of them. Plus she didn't tell you about how Unkar steals her tips, or sends her all the creepy customers because he thinks she's ugly so they won't be creepy to her and then doesn't believe her when she insists they are. Thinks no man will hit on a woman with 'subpar boobs' as he calls them." Ben took the bottle of whiskey out of Poe's hands and took a drink himself. "She also didn't tell you about her disaster neighbour who is convinced she's in love with him and refuses to leave her alone. She _barely _scratched the surface. But she gauged your reactions and thinks that being her friend will be too much for you wimps, so I suggest one of you go back there and convince her otherwise."

Finn made to stand up but Ben immediately held a hand out to stop him, "not you."

Finn looked outraged.

"Nothing personal, dude," Ben stated, "but you wear all of your emotions on your face and if she senses even a shred of pity she'll think you're doing this to feel good about yourself and that won't help anyone." He moved to assess Poe, "you. You're good. You go."

Poe immediately stood up and went to leave the table to find Rey.

"Take this with you," Ben handed him the whiskey and Rey's remaining milkshake. "Girl can eat her weight in starch and it'll never make a difference. Food helps with the hole she just dug herself into."

Poe wordlessly took the offering and made his way to the door Rey disappeared behind. Ignoring the _Employees Only_ sign he shouldered the swinging door open to the kitchen. Aside from where he assumed Ben had been working, the kitchen was in pristine condition - as if Maz would allow anything less than perfection, Poe found himself thinking.

He set the whiskey and the milk shake down at Ben's station and continued looking for Rey. The kitchen was very open concept; along one wall there were stacked ovens for baking, then stove tops, then fryers. Another wall was lined with fridges with glass doors, everything organized by necessity and from what Poe could tell, into stations. In the middle of the room there was a massive island, where he assumed any and all chopping prep took place before the cooks would simply spin around to their cooking station and do what needed to be done. In all of this there were surprisingly few places to hide.

Poe's eyes landed on a large steel door.

"Walk in freezer," he muttered to himself while simultaneously remembering Finn telling him that when he had panic attacks he would go somewhere cold to try to regain some form of equilibrium. Finn told him that his attacks would make him run hot, which would inevitably make the attack worse, which made him warmer, which - so on and so on; sometimes Poe would walk into Finn and Rose's apartment and see Finn with his head literally in the freezer.

So Poe assumed that would be a good place to look for Rey.

He walked over to the massive door and tried to pull it open to no avail. He tugged harder and harder. Eventually he threw the whole of his weight back and the door flew open.

"Christ," he muttered to himself. He found a massive bucket of what he assumed was sour cream based on the label, but he knew about reusing old containers for whatever need be. He stuck it between the door and the frame so it wouldn't swing shut behind him.

The freezer was as organized as a freezer could hope to be. He saw a coat rack hanging off the wall with parkas hanging off the hooks. _Probably for when a staff member has to do inventory. _He remembered having to do that at one of his first jobs, but he wasn't allowed a parka. _Unprofessional, my ass_ he scoffed to himself.

It didn't take long to find Rey. She was standing in the middle of two shelves of massive containers of ice cream. She was looking at the ground and Poe wasn't sure if she even knew he was there.

"That was really stupid of you, you know that?" she was muttering to herself.

_Okay so she doesn't know I'm here._

"I'm sure when Maz said _secrets_ she didn't mean your entire tragic back story; see this is why your only friend is Qui-gon and he's your _therapist _so that doesn't necessarily count!"

She dropped to the floor, sat cross legged, and dropped her face into her hands.

"Why are you so horrendously bad at this?" she moaned quietly to herself.

Poe watched as she threaded her fingers through her hair, and promptly noticed that her fingers were _literally turning blue._

He shrugged out of his leather jacket, which he's had forever, and threw it over her unsuspecting shoulders.

"Shit sorry," he said realizing his mistake when she flinched.

"S'fine." she muttered, snuggling herself into his jacket.

Apparently the whiskey hit. Poe slunk down to the floor in front of her, taking her hands from her hair. He held her freezing hands in his warm ones.

"When I was 8 my mother died, and it killed my father because I assumed she was just deployed elsewhere - she was in the military see, and I remember her having to leave at the drop of a hat, sometimes with almost no warning - and I assumed she would be home by Christmas. I don't know why I thought Christmas, but I got the idea in my head and it stuck. So anyway, in July - JULY - of that year I started counting down the days until mom was coming home, and it destroyed my father. So christmas eventually comes along and of course my mom isn't home. But on boxing day it hit me - I was there. I was in the room when my mother died. I heard the machine start flatlining. I was _there_, but at some point I completely blocked it out."

He could feel Rey shifting to look at him, but he kept his eyes trained on their hands. Her fingers intertwined themselves with his; he squeezed her hands.

"To this day, you know, I don't really remember it. I know logically I was there. I have snippets of memories; like the sound of the heart rate monitor flatlining; I can see the stupid panel curtains that all hospital windows have. I have these little snapshots, but I don't remember the event itself."

Rey sniffled.

Poe looked up at her; her nose was pink, her lips were turning blue, but her eyes were _searching. _He wasn't sure what for, but he knew in his heart that it was of the utmost importance that he maintain eye contact until she looked away.

She stared into the depths of his soul for a minute or two, or ten.

"Sunshine?" Poe whispered.

"Yes, Poe?"

He ignored the leap in his chest when she said his name, and answered to the nickname she was refusing not two hours prior. "You're freezing, let's go back, yeah? Finn's got a few nasty secrets too. I'm sure Maz can drink us all under the table. Ben has probably managed to wrangle a fifth chair to that tiny table, and we all want to spend the rest of this night with you."

Her eyes lit with, what he could tell, was an unfamiliar and cautious mirth. "Me?" she whispered through her blue lips.

He stood them up and ran his hands up and down her arms, "of course, you. You silly, beautiful creature."

Maybe it was a trick of the light. Or maybe she was just especially cold. But Poe could swear he saw her blush.

He didn't think too much on it as he led her out of the freezer and back into the kitchen.


	5. 5 Off the Deep End

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN STAR WARS**

Rey and Poe paused in the kitchen at Ben's station. Poe handed Rey her milkshake, absentmindedly.

"Really? A cold drink?" She snickered, colour was slowly returning to her face, and the whiskey added a nice rosey blush to her cheeks.

_She has freckles on her nose,_ Poe thought to himself.

"Fuck," he muttered absently, looking around for a kettle or a coffee pot or something.

"It's okay, if I don't warm up in the chair I'll just send Ben back here to make me some tea. He makes the _best_ cup of tea." She smiled warmly.

Poe felt a pang in his chest that he decided to ignore.

_Not jealous. _He insisted to himself. _Not at all, she's allowed to be interested in people who aren't me. She's had an entire life before even meeting me. We met __**three hours ago**_**. **He was fighting with himself.

She intertwined their fingers and dragged him back through the kitchen door, whiskey in tow.

"So sorry about that, where were we?"

"It was Poe's turn," Ben replied, ignoring the looks he was getting from Finn.

Finn seemed to pick up on the situation - wherein they were going to ignore Rey's outburst since she was obviously past it. Best not to dwell on the upsetting. "Yeah," he smiled sheepishly at Rey, "it's Poe's turn."

"Poe already went," she insisted, handing the bottle to Ben. "He told me a secret."

Maz nodded, "well alright then. Benjamin, your go."

Ben nodded, and took a small sip from the bottle. "Alright, secrets you say?" He said contemplatively, taking another small sip. "I'm gay."

Rey burst out laughing, "that's not fair!"

Poe felt the bubble of jealousy dissipate in his chest.

"What? Why?" Ben smiled crookedly at Rey, "these people don't know that."

Maz snorted inelegantly.

"I think literally everyone at this table knew you were gay, Ben," Finn shot a friendly smile at the large man.

"I certainly didn't," Poe muttered.

"What d'you mean by that, Poe?" Rey asked him, smiling widely. She was a very smiley drunk when she wasn't lost in her own head.

"Nothing, I mean," he paused, looking down at his hands, "isn't it Finn's turn?"

Ben passed the bottle to Finn.

Finn looked at it for a second, contemplating how he was going to take his turn. Rey overshared, Ben stated the obvious, Maz was (insert term here, there's a word for it. Dodging the question sort of. But intentionally sharing less than the others).

Finn shrugged and took a small sip. When he put the bottle back down he purposely locked eyes with Rey. "I was in foster care too. No one knows my last name; no one even knew how old I was when I entered the system. I was, they think, about 6 when I was taken in. I had no immunization records, no dental records, no records of any kind. It was like I appeared out of nowhere. And, to be honest, I don't remember much of a time before I was put into care. I bounced around a lot of homes, I'm actually surprised we've never met before. But anyway, no one actually wanted the responsibility of a child with nothing to work off of. I was an empty shell, no one wanted that. Eventually I aged out, and met Poe and Snap. They kind of took me in. I lived with them while they were in college until I could find my own place. Met Rose, and the rest is history, I guess." He shrugged, sinking further into the squashy cushions. "Nowhere near as bad as what you got, and I'm sorry that that's what you got. If I could go back in time and take it all back from you, I would. I swear. No one deserves to go through half of the bullshit the world has put you through."

Rey tore her gaze away from him and looked down at the table, in a soft voice that everyone leaned in to hear she whispered: "if it weren't me it would be someone else. You would have saved me, but at what cost? I know I stayed in some places a lot longer than other kids, so who knows how many _more_ innocent children would be affected if I weren't there."

Rey looked up and made eye contact with everyone at the table in turn. "I prefer," she began, "not to dwell on it. But I also know that a lot of the anxiety as a result of this hell I have lived through manifests in weird ways that a lot of people don't understand. That's the only reason why I'm taking part in this silly game of truth. Maz, it's your turn."

Ben and Maz both nodded, as if dismissing and closing the subject.

Maz took the bottle from Finn and took a small sip. She looked around the table, slowly making piercing eye contact with everyone. "Every single one of you," she began in a small but powerful voice, "has met before."

Poe was floored. "Pardon me?" He looked at Ben, wracking through his memories trying to place a younger version of the man in his memories, but he came up empty handed. He did the same with Rey, nothing.

From the look he say on both Rey and Ben's faces he assumed they were doing the same thing. Only Finn remained impassive, as if he knew deep down what Maz was saying was the truth, but he needed her to point it out to realize it.

Rey looked at Finn contemplatively, "we have met, haven't we? At the orphanage that closed down by Jakku."

Finn nodded absently, not looking up or making eye contact with Rey.

Ben ran his hand along his jaw then up into his hair, "Summer camp, 1987. I was a camper, you were a counsellor," he said to Poe as if he already knew, but was waiting for Poe to bring it up.

Poe remembered that summer, it was the summer he started counting down to Christmas. He was very mentally absent during his camp counselor duties, and was forever thankful to Jessica for picking up his slack.

"That was a hard summer for you, wasn't it?" Ben asked him softly, Poe could only understand him because he was looking directly at him, otherwise he would have missed it.

Minutely, Poe nodded.

Ben nodded in return and promptly dropped his eyes to the table, closing the subject.

"You were that douchey guys intern at the firm I worked at!" Finn slammed his fist on the table, causing Rey to jump and release a small yelp.

Finn wasn't paying much attention to Rey, he was looking at Ben.

Poe reached under the table and laid his palm on Rey's knee, fingers splayed wide so she wouldn't think he was trying to grab her.

Rey's eyes went wide for a second before she relaxed, realizing it was Poe.

Tentatively, Rey pivoted herself on her seat, and raised her feet to Poe's chair.

Poe bit back a gasp when he felt how cold her feet were. _She wasn't wearing shoes in the freezer, you idiot! _He scolded himself for not noticing that her shoes remained under the table during their digression.

She smiled sheepishly as she buried her feet between his leg and the cushion of the chair, seeking - and finding - warmth.

"Sorry," she mouthed at him while rubbing a fist on her chest.

Poe felt the nagging of a vague memory of his high school ASL Class poking at the back of his mind, but he wrote it off since he could barely remember the ASL alphabet, he made a mental note that he would likely forget to ask Rey about that later.

"- But yeah we definitely worked together for at least 6 months. But we never actually interacted since we were thrown in different circles." Ben finished explaining to Maz and Finn.

"Wow, we really have all met before." Finn mused.

Poe furrowed his brow and looked at Rey, mouth agape to ask her when they had met previously.

She crinkled her nose and grinned at Poe, "I think we met by proxy just once."

Poe's frown deepened, he definitely didn't remember meeting Rey.

"Ah," she was flustered, "um, well. See. You were at this party? With Jessica?" She prompted him, trying to coax the memory out of him.

He shook his head, lost.

"You kind of rescued me from a dude who ended up being my shitty neighbour," she said flatly.

Poe was taken aback, he leaned back at the force of the memory surfacing at the forefront of his mind.

"Jess, why are we here?" He practically moaned, "you know I hate being in crowds."

"You just need to loosen up a little Dameron," she shot back, leading him through the front door of a house party.

Gods, he loved her but sometimes he really hated her.

"We're just stopping in for an hour, max, to congratulate my friend for _finally_ graduating. He's been going to school for _ever_, and he's finally done! We're here to rejoice!" She dragged him into the thick of the party by his hand.

He went willingly, but resolved to casually sip a single drink so no one would force another one on him.

Jessica let him go in the middle of an impromptu dance floor, all the furniture had been pushed against the walls. Couples were making out on the couches, drinks were scattered all over the tables, and people were practically piling onto each other on the floor trying to find room to dance.

Poe flat out refused to join in, and shouldered his way back through the crowd to the kitchen.

In the kitchen, there was a very petite young woman sitting cross legged on the counter. She situated herself in such a way that she was comfortably perched, but her feet were hanging over the edge. How she managed that was a mystery to Poe.

"What'll you have, then?" She asked him, her accent washing over him in soothing waves.

"I'm sorry?" He smiled warmly at her.

"I have no tolerance but I mix drinks like a pro," she explained.

He could see that she was a little tipsy, based on the flushing of her cheeks and ears. She had a wide toothy grin on her face.

"You have an incredibly big smile," he grinned at her.

The smile in question immediately dropped from her face.

"Yeah, I've heard that before," she muttered sheepishly.

"Hey! No? Where did it go?" Poe was flustered.

"Sorry," she plastered a small grin on her face, "someone else just told me I looked like I had a pumpkin-head because my smile is so big."

"Fuck them," Poe replied easily.

"Uh?" The girl narrowed her eyes slightly, "no thank you?"

"No I didn't mean like that!" Poe floundered.

"So what'll you have, sir?" She abruptly changed the subject.

"Uh," he looked at the various ingredients surrounding her. "Sex on the Beach?" He raised his eyebrows teasingly.

"You're on," she said, deftly maneuvering herself to grab the shaker.

Once she finished making his drink, she held the glass out to him.

"My girlfriend will kill me if she sees me drinking this," Poe said passively.

"I beg your pardon?" The girl demanded. "Tell her to go fuck herself because those are delicious and will fuck you up before you even remember there's alcohol in it."

"That's exactly my point!" Poe went to lift his arms in exclamation, but remembered his drink, so he ended up awkwardly lifting one arm and raising his other elbow.

The girl didn't point it out to him, and seemed to find the action endearing.

"See you around? I'll come back for another one, once I figure out what happened to Jess."

"Oh!" she exclaimed, "you're Poe Dameron!"

She said it with such conviction that Poe was momentarily stunned.

"Jessica was a friend of mine, when I first moved here." the girl shrugged.

"I'm sorry to say she hasn't mentioned you," Poe reasoned that the girl was friends with Jessica before her popularity got to her head. It was a few years ago, but Poe remembers the flip of the switch, which led to a lot more attitude and a holier than thou-ness that Jessica mastered. He shook his head to free himself from that particular train of thought, they weren't here to fight after all.

"I'll make you another drink when you come back," the girl smiled warmly at him, "promise, promise!"

Poe returned to the kitchen after having looked high and low for Jess to no avail.

He looked up at the counter to see the girl being held in place by some giant of a man. She looked at him over the man's shoulder, eyes wide with panic.

Poe immediately took action, dropping his glass, ignoring the shards flying everywhere, and grabbed the man by the scruff of his neck.

Pulling him away violently, Poe looked at the girl, raising his eyebrows, "you okay?"

She looked shaken, "I am now. Thank you. I better go."

Without another word, she hopped off the counter and ran out of the house.

"What the hell, dude?" The man said exasperatedly. "I was just trying to have a little fun."

"When your partner says no, your _fun,_" Poe sneered, "is _over."_

He let the man go and watched with grim satisfaction as he fell onto the shards of glass, cutting up the side of his face.

"Poe what the hell did you do to Kyle?" Jessica appeared in the doorway.

"I stopped _Kyle_," Poe spat his name, "from assaulting the tiny bartender, who seems to have fled the premises. Not that I blame her."

"You mean Niima? That little scavenger? What the fuck was she doing here?!" Jess demanded, while kneeling down to tend to Kyle.

"I invited her," Kyle explained, "hoping to get a little action from that tight piece of -"

Poe slammed his foot into Kyle's shin. "Well that's enough of that," he glared at the man. "Jess, I'll see you at home."

"Holy fuck that was you," Poe looked at Rey with new eyes.

Rey nodded.

"Wait, hold on." Finn looked between the two of them, "are you telling me that the creep that Jess left Poe for is your _neighbour?!"_

_A/N: please review 3_


	6. 6 Impromptu Moving Plans

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN STAR WARS

_**Sorry, this little game of theirs is taking a lot longer to write than I anticipated. I have a vague plan for this, but as I write more ideas come up and they flow so well into the grand scheme of things that I just have to include it. Last round of truth, promisepromise! Xx**_

Poe stared at Rey blankly, "I'm sorry but Kyle Ronson is your what now?"

Rey looked down dejectedly. "He's my neighbour."

"Rey he tried to assault you!" Poe exclaimed.

"Well I didn't exactly know he was my neighbour when I moved in!"

"She has a point, Dameron, ease up a little," Ben interjected seeing that Poe was getting himself worked up.

Poe took a breath, then his eyes widened as he realized what Finn had said. "I'm sorry Jessica left me for whom?"

Finn looked at Poe incredulously. "Now you're focusing on that?"

"There were more important things at hand," Poe muttered, running his fingers in small circles on Rey's calves.

Rey flushed and averted everyone's eyes, trying her hardest to ignore the blooming feeling in her chest, and the flop she felt in her stomach.

"Rey, darling," Maz interrupted. "I believe it is your turn."

Ignoring the bottle, Rey took a moment to look down at her hands, but her eyes strayed and she found herself entranced by Poe's innocently wandering fingertips. His palms were flat on her legs and he only moved his fingers in gentle circles. Rey almost rolled her eyes back at the sensation, hardly accustomed to such gentle interaction.

Keeping her eyes trained on Poe's hands she said, "everything I own, aside from the clothing on my back at this moment, is packed in my apartment. I have lived there for about 8 months, and have collected a fair amount of things - cookbooks, a kettle, various mugs and knickknacks; but I am pretty much constantly ready to move out. Hoping that I'll find a place to run away from Kyle."

Ben handed her the bottle and she took a polite sip, "but honestly finding places to live in this godforsaken city? Psht," she scoffed delicately, handing the bottle off to Poe.

Poe knew what he was going to say next but decided he needed some extra courage to do it. He took a long pull from the bottle, ignoring the burn in his throat and nose. He enjoyed his 'girly' drinks for a _reason._

Nodding to himself, he allowed his hands to grip Rey's legs properly.

The effect was instant, she made direct eye contact with him.

"Jessica did 100% of the homemaking decorating in our apartment. And since she left its been all but barren. I've been a bit of a downer since the split and honestly I think living in a less than homey place is making it worse. But I don't know…how…or even where to start."

"Gentlemen, I think it is time that Finn learned how to make a proper cup of tea. Ben, would you?" Maz gestured toward the kitchen door.

Ben nodded, unquestioning.

Finn blanched. "Really? Right now? At this moment?"

"I believe a round of tea for the table would go nicely. Especially since we only have one round left." Maz turned her gaze to Poe, staring pointedly.

Rey smiled politely as the trio left the table. Leaving her and Poe slightly tangled together; their alcohol addled brains struggling to keep up with the obvious hints Maz was dropping.

"I feel like -" Rey began at the same moment Poe said: "So I think-"

"You go," they both insisted.

"No you," again.

"No, you!"

Eventually they both just sat in silence, waiting for the other to go. A few seconds passed before they both burst into a fit of giggles.

"You first, Poe. Nose goes." Rey instantly had her finger squashed on her little button nose.

Poe blushed, his heart leaping at the absolute adorable sight before him.

Rey wiggled her feet out from between Poe and the cushions and placed them on his lap properly.

She pinched his hands with her toes until he yielded and began rubbing her feet.

"You are surprisingly open tonight, sunshine," Poe smirked at her.

"I will 100% blame the alcohol. But also a little on you," she shrugged good naturedly.

"Me?" He questioned gently. Keeping his voice soft and gently massaging each of her toes.

"Obviously," Rey grinned openly.

If Poe was being honest with himself, he would admit that he and Jess weren't properly intimate. He slept with her, and they shared a bed. They were together for almost five years, and good friends for years before that. But any level of casual intimacy between them felt awkward and forced.

Jess was always very touchy with Poe when they were out with her friends, constantly playing with his hair, or running her hands possessively across his shoulders. It all felt very forced and fabricated, but Poe always assumed he just wasn't a cuddly type, (something he would never say out loud to Finn, who had innocently cuddled a drunk Poe many times in the past, or allowed Poe to snuggle up during their monthly movie marathons).

If Poe was being honest with himself he would admit that the entire relationship he had with Jess never felt so cared for or as comfortable as he felt in this moment with Rey, a virtual stranger. Nor had he ever felt so casually protective of a person.

He felt his heart swelling at the thought, because Poe couldn't lie to save his life, even to himself.

"Poe?" Rey's voice interjected, "are you okay?"

Poe shook his head to clear it, "sorry?"

"You got lost for a second there. You good?"

"Just thinking about you," he shrugged, forgetting to be bashful.

Rey blushed an absolutely beautiful shade of pink grinned widely - a look Poe immediately declared as his favourite and vowed to make her make that face as many times as he could.

"Me?" She echoed his earlier statement.

"Obviously," he echoed hers.

Ben, Finn, and Maz decided to burst through the kitchen door at this moment, all but ruining the thick atmosphere that Poe found himself enshrouded in.

"I don't understand why you have to add hot water to the cup first, then dump it out, _then_ start making the tea?" Finn questioned Ben, both of which were carrying mugs of steaming tea. Maz held a fifth steaming mug, as well as a tray full of starchy sweets.

"To soak up the alcohol and fill your tummies. Best to go to bed with a full tummy," Maz placed the tray on the small table before perching herself on the edge of her chair.

Ben and Finn each placed a mug in front of Poe and Rey, before settling into their respective chairs.

"So Little Manta," Ben said seriously, "when are you moving out?"

"I'm sorry?" Finn sputtered.

Rey studiously focused on her steaming cup of tea, "I told you not to call me that."

"Alright, Rey-dar."

"Nope."

"Rey of sunshine!" Ben tried.

"Only Poe can call me that!" Rey immediately defended.

Ben looked from Rey to Poe and back, "since when?"

"Since right now!" Rey insisted.

Poe stopped his ministrations on her feet and allowed his hands to rest on her calves; rubbing in a soothing motion.

Maz let out a loud belly laugh. "Children, children! We have more important matters to discuss!" She took a deep sip of her tea, as if completely unaware that it was steaming hot. "Rey when are you leaving your apartment?"

"I haven't anywhere to go!" Rey replied incredulously, "I am not moving back into old Ben's, and I can't call Nicola for another favour, and Dr. Jinn helped me get into the place I'm at! My hands are tied. But I'll find a new place before the end of the year."

"It's November, peanut." Finn interjected.

Rey shot him a withering glare, "did you miss my conversation with Ben regarding nicknames?"

"You could move into my place." Poe interjected absently, tensing his hands on Rey's legs nervously.

"Wh-what?" Rey stammered. "I couldn't. We just met! I'm a complete stranger! I'm crazy! I hardly talk, I'm an atrocious cook, I clean almost obsessively."

"And I have an empty room, you're not crazy, I've lived with complete strangers before. I'm hardly home except to eat and sleep, I cook just fine and hate cleaning."

"Besides, you love making places seem like home. Didn't you almost go to school for interior design?" Ben inquired. "You could make it homey for poor little Dameron."

Maz nodded, "it makes the most sense!"

Rey stuttered over her tongue, "what if I can't afford rent?"

Poe couldn't help it, he laughed. He tipped his head back and laughed and laughed.

Finn cracked a smile too, so did Ben and Maz.

"What's so funny?" Rey demanded, her ears turning pink in embarrassment. "Are you having a go at me?"

Poe hiccuped, and suppressed further giggles, "no, love. I'm not having a go at you. I promise, promise. It's just…" he paused to gather his remaining mirth and settle his thoughts. He slid his hands up and down Rey's shins soothingly and to ground himself. "Sunshine, did we ever tell you what I _do?"_

Rey straightened, eyes slightly out of focus. She was thinking back to their previous sets of conversations.

"Um…" she stammered. "No, Poe, I don't think you have."

Finn snickered to himself, before sobering at a withering glare sent to him by Poe, Ben and Rey.

"Finn and Rose make specialty supplies for the military, which the soldiers use to fix any and all of their equipment. It's ridiculously light weight, and portable. It also all comes apart into very malleable pieces, so if you have three or four pieces of equipment, in theory, the individual pieces of those could make up to 10 more completely separate pieces of equipment. This is a horrible explanation and I'm sorry but I'm drunk." Poe grinned sheepishly.

"What does this have to do with you?" Rey asked.

"Well, my father owned the company that patented their work."

"And?" Rey shook her head.

"My father retired 6 years ago, and the company has been mine and Finn's ever since."

"Oh," Rey dropped her chin slightly, pursing her lips into a small pout.

"Yeah," Poe shrugged, "plus before that I was in the military. Did a lot of flying around, taught a lot of the current Air Force most of their flair. Sort of ended up losing feeling in three fingers on my right hand, and most of my right leg. Got grounded for good." He shrugged it off like it was nothing. "Anyway, payout for that is half decent, plus the company. I own my condo, and you can pay rent if that makes you feel better but really... Just help me keep the fridge stocked and don't leave your laundry all over the damn place."

Rey furrowed her brow, "how _old_ are you? I'm 23."

"32," Poe shrugged again.

Rey brightened at that, "you were making it sound like you were closing in on 45 or something. Alright. Let's go before I change my mind."

A/N: please review 3


	7. Chapter 7

Rey woke up with a pounding headache. Her tongue felt heavy in her mouth, and her heartbeat was pulsating in her head.

She cracked her eyes open, but immediately shut them after painfully realizing the curtains were open.

She groaned softly and buried her head under the soft pillow. Inhaling deeply, hoping to breathe her hangover away.

She abruptly sat up, "why does my windowless room suddenly have a window, and why does it smell like citrus and aftershave?" She demanded out loud, keeping her eyes shut.

"Because you're in your new room, you drunken idiot," came Ben's reply.

Her eyes flew open, she stubbornly ignored the stabbing pain in her head to train them on Ben. "What?"

"You agreed and already started to move in with Poe Dameron last night, sweetheart. Come on, coffee's on."

Puzzled, Rey forced herself out of bed which was certainly not hers. She looked down at herself and was relieved to see she was fully clothed - not in her own clothing, mind you. But she could feel the familiar elastic of her underwear, so she remained calm, and followed Ben to the promised coffee.

She walked out of the door to the room she slept in, and into a long, spacious, and brightly lit hallway. She glanced at the ceiling curiously, only to see that the lights weren't on. The hallway was illuminated by reflecting light off the light coloured walls.

She dimpled, mildly impressed at the conscious design of the place.

The ceilings were high, the walls were light, but each door was painted a dark colour, making each entrance look like its own cave or portal to a different realm - which, Rey supposed, was the idea. There were three other doors in the hallway, and one wide sliding closet. The hallway led to a very spacious and open room - It was a kitchen, dining room, and living room all in one gigantic room. The kitchen had its own little nook, but was sort of blocked into its own space with the counters, and the dining room was directly beside it, the only way to differentiate it from the living area was the flooring. The wall that was technically the kitchen was painted a slightly darker hue than the living room, to accentuate the dark marble countertop.

The place had the potential to be really cozy and homey, but she could see what Poe meant. It was like someone had taken all of the homing touches and erased or removed them. There weren't any stools at the bar, nor was there a newspaper or piece of mail in site. It was like someone made a showhome but forgot to hire a stager. There weren't any throw blankets, or signs of any comfort or livability of any kind. If anything, the home was clinically clean.

_Maybe that's one of his things,_ she thought, _cleaning. I used to obsessively clean to clear my mind._

She glanced into the living area, where there was an entertainment unit and a sectional couch. She had expected it to look clinically in order as well, but was surprised to see a disgruntled Poe Dameron lying on his back with his arm thrown over his eyes. She could see the remnants of a half-made couch-bed, with a comforter pushed down to his feet.

She tried, she _really tried_, not to dwell on the fact that he was wearing a dark tank top underneath which she could make out the faint outline of a pendant; and grey sweatpants. The pants hung low enough on his hips that a small, nosy, and completely infatuated part of her brain wondered if he had any underwear on. She could see the sharp line of his hip, and the sensuous curve they made leading her eyes to -

She shook herself and focused on his face. She could make out the chiseled line of his jaw, only accented by 5o'clock shadow, and the grim line of his mouth that let her know he was awake, and just as miserable as she was. She hoped it had nothing to do with her new living situation.

"Morning sunshine," he growled out, his voice scratchy like sandpaper.

She felt a tingle up her spine and down to her toes. _Holy __**fuck**__, please only sound like that hung over. _She pleaded while simultaneously hoping he sounded like that _every morning._ If she could still stay, that is.

"Why are you sleeping on your couch?" She asked.

"You took my bed," he answered, his voice still gravelly.

She could make out a glint of his eyes peeking out from under his arm, and tried to reign in the effect his voice had on her.

She watched with fixed fascination as his mouth curled up on one side. _Damn,_ she thought to herself, _I've been caught. _

"But I thought you said you had a guest room?" She questioned, fiddling with the hem of the oversized grey shirt she was wearing.

Absently, she realized this was likely his shirt, and he was _flirting_ (albeit subtly) with her while she wore it.

"Jess made it all but uninhabitable," he lifted his arm slightly to make better eye contact with her, "I don't think she actually wanted anyone to _stay_ in that room, just wanted to sound bougie enough to have a guest room."

Rey nodded in understanding. "Is there a bed frame with just a box spring? Did you find out by jumping on it?"

"No, thankfully. But it's literally just a bed frame. I mean it's a really nice bed frame, and the bitch made it up to look like an actual bed, but there was no bed there. So here I am, with the stupidly expensive bed set, sleeping on the goddamn couch."

"I would have slept on the couch if you told me!"

"Sunshine, you leaped into the middle of my bed as soon as I opened the door after offering it. You looked like a kid on christmas morning, and were asleep before I could turn the light off."

She blushed, recalling a vague recollection of that precise interaction. "Sorry."

"Stop apologizing, he saw that your bed was a bunch of palettes stolen from work and a camping mat." Ben said loudly in the kitchen.

As if acknowledging Ben in the kitchen flipped some kind of switch in Rey, she immediately smelt the breakfast he was cooking. Bacon, ham, sausage, eggs with spinach and peppers and cheese, and waffles.

"Fuuuck," Rey moaned, letting herself fall towards the kitchen, forcing her feet to catch up with her.

Ben let out a rumble of a laugh, "come on, Dameron. She isn't an apparition, she's here. Eat or you'll be a bitch later."

Rey was already piling her plate with food, she had a piece of bacon hanging out of her mouth and gratefully took the cup of overly creamy and sugary coffee Ben held out for her in her favourite mug.

She felt another vague memory of the night before nagging at the back of her mind, but she ignored it in favour of her food. She leaned against the bar and started eating standing up.

Poe took one look at Rey's overflowing plate, smiled privately to himself, and began piling a plate of his own.

"Wait," Rey said mid-bite, (much to Poe's delight and Ben's dismay), "where-id-oo-seep?" She frowned toward Ben.

"Par-don mee?" He over enunciated.

"Where did you sleep?" Poe translated, leaning next to Rey at the bar with his food.

"On the floor. Had to make sure she didn't kill you when she woke up somewhere new," Ben shrugged.

Poe looked at Rey a slight frown maring his features, "do you panic when you wake up somewhere new?"

Rey shrugged, not making direct eye contact with him.

Ben snorted, causing Poe to turn to him. "I had to call her every night after she moved into her new place to make sure she actually got to sleep, then I had to call her in the morning again to make sure she remembered where she was."

Poe turned back to Rey, keeping his features soft and as non-judgemental as he could. "I want you to know," he began, ducking his torso to make direct eye contact with her, "this will be your home for as long as you would like it to be. And you can make any changes you want to make it as familiar and homey to you as you want. You can paint the walls, you can change the door knobs, you can even put up that stupid live laugh love bullshit. Okay?"

Rey snarled, "I like making things _homey, _not _hallmark-y."_

Ben and Poe burst out laughing at the venom in her voice.

"But my point still stands!" Poe insisted, "this is your home now! Do with it what you will, just don't kick me out please."

Rey dimpled and went back to her plate.

"Sunshine?" Poe began, "I meant to ask you…" he trailed off so she'd make eye contact with him and of course she did. "Why do you have so much baby shit?"

She let out a surprised laugh, "I actually forgot about most of it." She admitted.

"That doesn't answer my question."

"One of the girls that lives in the building is a single mom," Rey began, taking a small sip of her coffee, then realized it was almost too cold and took a larger sip.

Ben noticed and gently took the mug from her to reheat in the microwave - microwaved coffee, she could handle; microwaved tea? Don't even think about it.

"Her dude up and left her right after she moved in, so all her money went to the deposit and then he was gone before the first rent payment. She's been struggling for about 10 months? She had a c-section so she was let go from her warehouse job because she couldn't do any heavy lifting, then when she tried after her allotted healing time she tore something and then had to be put on bedrest for another month. I brought over a million casseroles, and babysat for free."

"I thought you said you couldn't cook?" Poe asked, furrowing his brow.

"Oh, I _can_ cook. Simple things. Lasagna, tuna casserole, mac and cheese. Comfort food. Starchy food. I just don't really enjoy cooking. Cooking should be done by someone who loves it, you know? Makes the food taste better." Rey insisted.

Poe couldn't argue with that.

"Anyway, she wouldn't let me just give her money to help her get by, and I can mostly get by with just my pay cheque. So whenever she had things for sale that just...weren't selling, I'd buy it for above her asking price with my tips," Rey shrugged, "I just never figured out what to do with any of it."

"Well, the stroller is broken," Ben commented.

"Yeah, her dude fucked that up on his way out the door. She used it for a bit which made it more broken, but then I bought it off her with enough for her to buy a new one."

Poe felt his heart swelling in his chest, "well aren't you somethin' else," he murmured.

Rey shrugged again, then noticed he was done his plate and grabbed it from him.

Ben deftly removed the plates from her hand and replaced it with her newly-reheated cup of coffee. "Well, we can bring that stuff to a child's thrift store on our way to get you a new bed."

Poe thought Rey's coffee looked scalding, but she took a long pull from her mug and sighed contentedly, seemingly unaware of what Ben had said.

Poe shook his head, trying to stop the blooming feeling in his chest. _This tiny wisp of a girl has more goodness in her little finger than Jess did in her entire self at any point in her life._ He thought bitterly, _Why am I so __**old**__._

"So, sweetheart," Ben interjected, probably seeing Poe's anguish with himself and realizing he wasn't going to get a reply from her about the bed, "are you excited to live somewhere new?"

Rey practically lit up - sunshine, indeed. "Of course! I hope your neighbours are nothing to worry about. Kyle has had his new girlfriend over for _months,_ and she sounds like a dying banshee! I'm really excited to never hear that again." Rey smiled at Poe.

But Poe was frozen to the spot. He and Jess had only broken up three weeks ago.

"When did you and Jess break up, Dameron?" Ben asked quietly.

Rey, recognizing the signs of unmitigated fury, quickly pulled away from the bar and shrank her shoulders in, making herself as small as possible.

"Sorry," she whispered, brokenly. Trying, _trying,_ to keep her panic at bay.

Ben made to move to go help her, but Poe broke out his trance and got there first.

"_Sunshine,"_ he breathed, grasping her shoulders gently and pulling her into his chest. "You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about, I knew something was happening, I had an inkling. But I didn't think it went on that long."

"Sorry," Rey said again, muffled by his chest. She lifted her hands to her face, squashing them to his chest too. Trying in vain to keep her panicked tears at bay.

"Fuck, sorry sunshine. I didn't mean to scare you."

Ben made himself quietly busy in the kitchen by wiping down the counter and making himself a plate of the remainder of food, leaving a small mountain of bacon for Rey, knowing she'd come back for it after her panic subsided.

Rey managed to get ahold of her tears; she wiped her face one last time and turned her hands so her palms were flat against Poe's chest. Her hand found the pendant she noticed earlier, and she grasped it through his shirt.

She felt Poe stiffen slightly, and immediately let it go.

Poe reached his hand between them and gripped her hand so she held the pendant again, never letting go of her shoulders, never releasing the comforting embrace.

_I could spend eternity like this, _Rey found herself thinking, ignoring her grounding exercise for a second, _why am I so __**young**_.

Poe cleared his throat and pulled away after what felt like both far too long and far too short a period of time.

"Rey?" Ben's voice broke into their little bubble. "Come eat your post-panic food before it's grossly cold."

Rey almost launched herself from Poe's arms to take the offered bacon.

Poe chuckled heartily, feeling any remaining tightening in his chest loosen. His sunshine was okay.

_**My**_ _sunshine? _He demanded to himself, _calm down there, Dameron. She's lived here for like a minute._

"You ready to go shopping?" Ben smiled at the pair.

Rey, who had a piece of bacon in her mouth and another in her hand on its way there, froze.

"Wot?" She asked around her food.

Poe couldn't stop himself, he laughed, loud and full.

"Shopping, Rey." Ben smiled. "You need a mattress. And bedding."

"I can't afford that," Rey insisted.

Poe scoffed and opened his wallet and threw it on the counter, revealing a row of black and gold credit cards, "don't you worry your pretty little head. You can pay me back by redecorating the house - which I will also pay for. I'll give you the mattress, the bedding, and the clothing we get today as payment for your services."

"Clothing?" Rey ignored his questionable wording.

"I packed all your stuff here, you have two pairs of pants, total. Both of which are ready to give up."

"You need new clothes, Rey." Ben insisted.

"Fuck," Rey murmured to herself. "Alright, where are we going?"

"There's an outlet mall about half an hour drive from here. We'll get your clothes and anything you want to add to the house right away there. There's a mattress place near there too so we can pick one and have it delivered here within the week. Until it gets here I'll sleep on the couch." Poe's tone made no room for argument.

"We hung out with Maz for less than four hours and you're already picking up on her mannerisms." Rey chided, "I'm wearing this shirt today. But what did you guys do with my jacket?"

Poe snorted and went over to the coat closet, sidestepping the small pile of crates that were Rey's entire life - which was sad given that there were only four of them.

Poe pulled out the leather coat that he threw over Rey last night and tossed it to her.

"I appreciate the aesthetic of distressed denim, sunshine," he smiled at her, "but it's -2 Celcius outside (A/N: about 28 F), you're not wearing something I can literally see through."

Almost as an afterthought, he also through a knitted wool toque and a matching scarf at her.


	8. Settling InReconnecting

Chapter 8: Settling In/Reconnecting

It had been about two weeks since Rey had moved in with Poe. She was worried that her infatuation with him was becoming increasingly obvious, so she stayed away from the place as much as she could; currently nestled into an armchair at some ma and pa coffee shop, her fingers curled around a scalding cup of tea, willing some heat into her constantly cold digits.

Rey had only been at home to sleep, or when she knew Poe wasn't going to be there.

Already, the condo looked significantly more lived in. During that initial shopping trip, Rey was spoiled with more clothing than she had owned in the entirety of her 23 years. Now she had various pairs of jeans, all in different shades of blue, plus a forest green pair which were completely impractical but she fell in love with the moment she saw them. In addition to that, she had obtained various t-shirts and henleys. Plus a few peasant blouses, as well as three sets of workout attire.

Rey smiled at the memory of Poe shoving his credit card into her hand, his face turning a handsome shade of scarlet as he shoved her into a lingerie store.

"You need more than one bra," Ben had defended, "but neither of us want to know anything about what they look like. Go nuts."

_I certainly wouldn't mind Poe having an intimate knowledge of my….intimates._ She blushed at the recollection.

The condo itself had all but been flipped. On her first day alone Rey had maneuvered the couches to seem less like an interview, and more like a nook. She had also bought a tall basket which she stuffed with blankets of various sizes and materials, and placed it in the empty corner that the edges of the couches made. Plus there was a throw blanket on the back of each couch, casually hanging over the edge in an inviting "use me for snuggles" manner which she so enjoyed.

The kitchen was also casually decorated with some brightly coloured drying cloths, and some plants in the window sill. There wasn't much she could do to make a kitchen seem homey, but she liked to think her bright purple stovetop kettle she had brought with her things, coupled with the new drying cloths, and the burgundy utensil holder with all the commonly used utensils sitting next to the red toaster would do the trick.

Poe had teased her mercilessly over the colours of her kitchenware, but she had defended that if she was going to live in a piece of shit apartment she was going to make it the homiest piece of shit apartment anyone has ever seen - on a budget at least.

Poe had expressed his gratitude by buying Rey yet another gift; something she was entirely unfamiliar with. She smiled fondly at the memory.

"Here, I bought you something that made me think of you while I was on my way home from work," the office building was only a few blocks down the road, and since Rey had been using the car to spruce up the condo, Poe had taken to walking to and from the office.

"Oh?" She mused; half expecting him to pull out a grungy pair of socks, or some utility boots; if she were really lucky, maybe he grabbed _another_ soft blanket. Poe's collection of them went from precisely zero to just over 10 in the short time Rey had lived there, not that Poe had a problem with it.

He lamely placed a small black box on the counter top. "It's just like mine, I noticed you seemed to like the feel of it whenever we hug," he blushed a bright pink from the tips of his ears all the way down to the collar of his shirt.

Rey felt her ears warm, she had taken to grasping the chain that rested at his sternum whenever he embraced her - which was fairly often, Poe was a very huggy person, and she did not mind in the slightest.

Feigning ignorance, Rey allowed her face to be marred with a curious frown, as she hopped down from the bar stool - another new addition - and padded over to the box on the counter in her slippers - another gift from Poe, since she had taken to stealing his whenever he wasn't home.

Tentatively, she opened the box to find an almost exact - albeit quite a bit shinier - replica of the chain Poe wore every day.

"I don't have anything to put on it," Poe said quickly, "but I figured you would like it just the same."

Rey blushed, "I have a ring to put on here, actually."

When old Ben had officially adopted Rey and their relationship solidified for him, he had given her an old ring of his, claiming it was nothing special, but to Rey it was worth more than all of the treasure in the world. To Rey it felt like an heirloom, a familiar tie; something passed on from Father to Offspring. She was deeply touched, and felt a pang of sadness whenever she thought of it, since she didn't have a nice chain to put it on and it was much too large for any of her fingers (and toes, she had checked, just to be silly.)

She wore that ring around her neck, and she would catch a glimpse of it occasionally whenever she looked down, and it seemed to ground her into herself.

Rey took a sip of her tea and choked.

The atmosphere of the coffee shop was great, but the tea they had served her was awful. She had to fight herself to keep from spraying it everywhere. Instead, she acted like she was taking another sip, and allowed the liquid in her mouth to return to the mug.

_So much for a nice spot of tea,_ she thought crossly.

She straightened her spine and rolled out her neck and shoulders, deciding that she had hidden away enough today, and ought to make her way home.

"Niima?" A vaguely familiar, pitchy voice broke through her reverie.

Rey looked up to see Jess.

_Don't answer to a name that is no longer yours, _her counselor's voice echoed in her mind. _It holds no power over you. Do not answer to your slave name._

He referred to Niima as her slave name after she had talked at length about a scene in a movie she had seen where the protagonist was being questioned, but the interrogator was using an unfamiliar name. It turned out that the protagonist had changed her name in some unseen period of time, but refused to answer to it after the change. She stared at the man indifferently and said with casual venom "I don't answer to my slave name."

That scene stuck with Rey for a long time, especially after her name changed from Rey Niima to Rey Kenobi.

Rey smiled at Jess, deciding to be polite about it. "Actually it's Kenobi now," she said lightly.

"Whatever, you know I'm talking to you. Heard you moved." Jess said tactlessly.

"I did, I actually live with a friend of my friend's." Rey decided to play coy, "you might know him? Poe? Dameron?"

Rey could see the stutter in Jess's actions.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Poe Dameron, he's my roommate. Turns out his ex girlfriend isa cheating slag, and he wanted help redecorating the entire place. And you know how I love to make houses into homes; so Finn connected us and I've been living there for a few weeks."

_A few can sometimes mean just more than one, right? _Rey smiled privately to herself.

"Hmph. Is that so?" Jess sneered.

No denial, interesting. Rey thought.

Despite having the upperhand, Rey felt nervous and absently fiddled with the chain around her neck.

Jess's eyes tracked the movement and she stiffened, "where the hell did you get that?"

"Hmm?" Rey hummed, then looked where Jess was and realized. "Oh, Poe gave it to me." She shrugged.

"You liar!" Jess shouted suddenly.

Rey leaned back in shock, "Uh? No? Really, it was a gift from Poe."

Jess all but launched herself towards Rey, stopping within inches of her face, staring down her nose at the slip of a woman.

"Stop. Fucking. Lying. He did not give you _that_ ring. Scavenger scum!" Jess spat in Rey's face.

Rey flinched slightly at the onslaught.

"If it is from him, he's a bigger idiot than I thought. Wasting his time with a piece of trash like you," Jess sneered.

Rey sat up tall, prepared to retaliate.

"Rey!" Another voice called out. "Rey, is that you? Long time no see, buddy!"

Finn, Rey thought.

"Don't you have a creepy neighbour to fuck?" The girl with Finn, Rose, said nastily to Jess.

Finn gently grabbed Jess's shoulder and pulled her away from Rey, then he crouched in front of her to inspect her face.

"Here," he said quietly, using a napkin to wipe her face. "I think Rose might have makeup wipes in her purse," he scrunched his nose.

Rey nodded, at a complete loss for words.

"Come on, Rey, Rose." Finn nodded at his girlfriend, "there's a better place nearby. Which keeps _better company._" Finn practically sneered at Jess, gently helping Rey to her feet and maneuvering her out the door.

Once outside, Rey remembered herself.

"What the _fuck_ was that about?!" Rey all but screamed, keeping in step with Finn and Rose as they walked down the sidewalk. "Who the hell does she think she is? Who _does_ that?"

"I don't know, peanut," Finn sighed, scowling. "I heard what she called you though, I'm so sorry I didn't step in sooner."

Rey stopped and looked at him, "what?"

"She called you Niima, and then scavenger scum. I know you can hold your own though so didn't think I would have to step in over name calling, but then she got in your face and I had to."

"I don't _care_ what she called _me." _Rey said incredulously. "She shouldn't talk about Poe like that!"

Finn blanched, halting midstride.

They both stood staring at each other before Rose reached back and grabbed one of their hands in her own and tugged them back into stride.

"I'm used to being looked down on," Rey continued. "I was a _Niima."_

"What does that even _mean?"_ Rose demanded in a huff.

Rey locked eyes with Finn, "you didn't _tell_ her?"

"It wasn't how the system worked when I was put in, you must have been a few years before me. You said you were found at 2, I was found at 6. We're the _same age, Rey."_ Finn insisted.

"Touche," Rey aquiested.

"So what does Niima mean?" Rose prodded gently, dragging them through the doors of another coffee shop.

"I'll go order, Rey you explain." Finn said as they found a nice square table with couches on either side.

Rey and Rose opted to sit next to each other on the same side rather than across.

"So, where to begin." Rey rubbed her fingertips into her temples, trying to mitigate the fury that remained from her interaction with Jess.

"The beginning?" Rose suggested.

"The beginning is horrifically tragic and not something I like to talk much about; besides, I gave Finn an abridged version the other night. I have a feeling he told you."

Rose had the decency to blush and look mildly put out.

Rey smiled softly and nodded, forgiven and forgotten already. "Anyway. Nobody knew who my parents were. Much like Finn I had no records of any kind. I was only 2 when they found me, so there was no dental records, no name to go off of, just my blood type which they found on my first doctor visit, right? So really. I had no name. So apparently I smiled a lot at the doctor, and had all my teeth so he called me a little ray of sunshine. And the social worker that was there just threw in an e instead of an a and bam I had a first name.

"Niima is another story on its own, kinda. When I was put in the system I guess it was common to give the kids without last names a name that they could use on legal forms and paperwork and whatever until the kid eventually got adopted and then their name would change once the paperwork went through. So the kids would get a last name after the orphanage they were initially put in. I went to Niima, which used to be in town by Jakku, but it got closed down due to lack of funding and it turned out that the head honcho whoever was stealing money, so it couldn't stay afloat. So I was Rey Niima. Thanks to some random social worker and where I ended up. I could have been Rey Tatooine, or Rey Coruscant, so it could have been much worse. But it is also like a beacon to anyone who knows the system." Rey shrugged one shoulder.

Just as she finished her explanation, Finn came back with three drinks precariously balanced in his hands.

"Earl grey for sunshine, with a touch of brown sugar. Peppermint mocha for my lady love. And a caramel latte for me!" Finn smiled widely and took a mouthful of whipped cream off the top of Rose's drink.

She stuck her tongue out at him, but was otherwise unbothered.

"But you're not a Niima anymore? You were adopted by Ben Kenobi," Rose pointed out.

"Jess gets off on making people feel inferior and small, so she will likely call me Niima until one of us dies." Rey shrugged, indifferent.

Rose and Finn nodded, contemplating while staring into their respective drinks.

"What the heck is that?" Rey asked Rose, nodding towards her pile of chocolate and whipped cream.

Rose looked at Rey like she was joking. She quickly realized Rey was being completely serious and schooled her features to polite inquiry.

"It's a mocha," she stated.

"Which is what? I drink creamy sugary coffee, and plain tea with a spot of sugar." Rey explained. "Both of which you can sometimes find for 30 cents a cup."

Finn nodded in understanding, giving Rose a look that told her to drop it and continue.

"Well, a mocha is…..Babe. What's a mocha."

Finn cracked a large smile and his eyes held nothing but love for his girlfriend as he shook his head lightly at her. "Always wanting to answer the questions but never having the answers," he teased.

Rose stuck her tongue out at him and offered her cup to Rey.

Finn maneuvered on his couch so that he was sitting on the edge of his seat.

Immediately, Rey understood why Rose chose to sit across from him.

"A mocha," Finn began, throwing his arms out in explanation, "is technically a coffee. But it's made with chocolate, vanilla extract, espresso, and steamed milk."

"What's espresso?" Rey furrowed her brow.

"Really really strong tasting coffee, with a fair amount of caffeine that hits really fast." Rose answered.

Finn considered her answer, tilting his head side to side as if he were literally rolling the words around in his head, "basically, yeah. That's one way of putting it."

"Alright, go on," Rey nodded to Finn, looking back into the cup Rose offered.

"You put your chocolate in your cup, and then you mix in the vanilla extract and any other liquid based flavours you'd like to add; in Rosie's case, peppermint."

Rey took a tentative sip of the drink and was immediately assaulted by a myriad of flavours. She wasn't sure if she liked it or not, but she certainly didn't not like it either.

She took another sip, this time holding it in her mouth and letting it coat her tongue. This was an exercise introduced to her by Dr Jinn a few years back, she couldn't remember why he told her to do it, but now she does it whenever she's tasting something new and thinks of him on every such occasion.

"You can mix it all together or leave it layered, which is really aesthetically pleasing. And you top it with whipped cream and an additive of the flavour of your choice. So if you add caramel you drizzle caramel, if it's just a mocha you add chocolate flakes. Rosie's is a peppermint mocha so those chocolate flakes are peppermint dark chocolate," Finn bit his lip as if savouring a memory of the flavour of the drink.

"This is too chocolatey for me, I think." Rey admitted. "It's really good but it's really rich. If I drank that whole thing it would hurt my belly, but I understand the appeal."

Finn nodded and immediately stood up and walked over to the cashier.

"What is he doing?" Rey asked Rose.

"I've learned to just go with it. He's eccentric. Very caring. Won't shut up about you." Rose said almost passively.

"What? We only met that one time. I mean we met at Jakku before it closed and he got adopted, but we didn't interact much. It may have been during one of my silent phases. I don't really remember."

Rose visibly relaxed, "sorry I'm not usually the type to be jealous, but like," she looked at Rey up and down, "you're hot and a girl's allowed to have insecurities."

Rey blushed and looked away. "No one's ever said that to me before." She admitted.

Rose scoffed, "because you're also scary as hell."

Rey nodded, she'd heard _that_ before.

She cast her eyes around the small cafe, it was very open, with one wall of windows. So a lot of natural light filtered in, and the ceiling was covered in potted plants, whose leaves and tendrils hung down prettily. Rey would have to remember this place and maybe become a regular.

"Rey?" A familiar voice came from over her shoulder.

"Maddie?" Rey asked turning to see who it was - it was Maddie, Madison, her neighbour from the old apartment.

"Rey!" Maddie all but shrieked.

Rey stood to shake her hand but got pulled into a hug instead, Rey had to be mindful of where she put her hands since Maddie had a sleeping baby in a carrier on her back.

"Hullo Mads!" She dimpled. "This is my friend Rose Tico, and that tall drink of water over there is Finn Storm, Rose's boyfriend."

Rose furrowed her brow, since Rey started talking to Maddie her hands were making all sorts of gestures.

"Oh gods, I saw him on my way in and knew he was likely taken by this little button here. You are absolutely _gorgeous_. Hello, I'm Madison, but everyone calls me Maddie, or Mads if you're Rey." Maddie was making gestures with her hands too. "This little man here is Jaime, he's had a rough couple of nights. Just about 11 months old and pushing through 3 molars."

"Three!" Rey exclaimed, running her fingers through the little boy's angel soft tuft of hair.

Maddie nodded sagely.

Rey smiled broadly, "where's Annika?"

"She's in the bathroom and was very insistent that she could go all by herself, thankfully this place is tiny! She will be so excited to see you!" Maddie smiled widely.

"Who is Annika?" Rose inquired.

"My daughter, Rey here is one of her favourite people in the world." Maddie smiled widely.

"She's six, it's not like I have many contenders!" Rey interjected.

"Her own grandparents won't learn sign to talk to her and insist on shouting at her, or only being with her when I'm there to translate."

"Oh!" The lightbulb lit over Rose's head, "you're signing!"

"Oh, sorry! Annika was born with almost no hearing. She can hear enough to read lips, and it really helped when teaching her to sign, but we communicate primarily through sign."

Rose nodded in understanding, "and Rey took to it like a fish to water and now Annika loves her?" She put the pieces together.

"Pretty much," Maddie replied just as Rey said "I mean, I guess? But not really."

"Always so bashful and modest," Maddie rolled her eyes at Rey, winking at Rose. "This one is a keeper, but you often have to remind her of her worth."

Before Maddie even finished her sentence, Rey had taken off towards the restroom, having seen little Annika emerge.

"Hello Anny," Rey smiled, speaking softly to herself while she signed to Annika.

_Hello best friend Rey! _Annika smiled brightly. _I haven't seen you! Are you okay? Where have you been?_

"I moved to a different place. Been very busy and haven't been able to catch up with your mom. But I'll make sure to schedule our biweekly dates, okay?" Rey couldn't keep the grin from her face.

_Our bye week lee dates, yes. _Annika smirked cheekily.

Rey rolled her eyes and held her arms out in silent offering.

With zero hesitation Annika clamoured into them. She and Rey returned to the table as a unit.

_We are going to best friend Rey's house mom. _Annika signed at her mom with her most serious face on.

"I did not say that to her," Rey defended immediately. "I just told her I moved and would have to talk to you about scheduling a date."

While she was gone, Finn had returned to the table. He handed her a to go cup with a knowing nod. "White chocolate. Less intense but still delicious."

Rey took a tentative sip and nodded her approval. "Thank you," she signed that as well.

Finn signed _you're welcome_ back, albeit a little sloppily.

Annika, Rey and Maddie beamed at him.

"No time like the present. Is it okay if we come for a visit?" Maddie asked.

Rey shrugged, "I don't see why not."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9:

Poe had come to expect an empty apartment upon returning from work. Or, best case, he would find Rey headed out the door almost immediately after he came home. He was starting to think that she was avoiding him because his untimely crush on her was making itself apparent, but he didn't want to dwell on that, or bring it up lest it not be that and then he would scare her away.

In short, Poe was ready to be alone and was having a lot of feelings about it.

What Poe was _not_ expecting, was Rey standing in the kitchen, wearing one of his button up flannels, leggings, a pair of his socks, and...a baby carrier? With a baby? Asleep in it?

Poe could see the tuft of wispy reddish-brown hair sticking up at all angles, and the intense rosy-ness of the little person's cheeks. Rey likely had a spot of drool where his cheek was resting on her back, but she didn't seem to mind.

From where he stood, Rey didn't even notice the potential wet spot between her shoulder blades; she was standing on the kitchen side of the bar gesturing animatedly to the small child sitting at the bar, sipping what looked like a hot chocolate.

Poe smiled, having remembered teaching Rey the way his mother would make him cocoa when he was a kid.

He continued studying the trio from afar, realizing that Rey was signing to the girl, and barely whispering the words to herself as she did. He caught a few words here and there, when she got so caught up that her voice rose on its own.

"-new home -decorating- Jess - ring!" Rey continued, not having noticed Poe's arrival.

Poe quietly closed the door behind him and opened the hall closet to hang his coat and tuck his shoes away - a habit he didn't previously have, but after being berated by Rey a few times he managed to remember every time he came home.

_We want it to look HOMEY, not MESSY. I don't want your boots hanging out in the middle of my hallway all night when there's a SHOE RACK in the CLOSET._

Rey was more flexible about his shoes when he was only popping in for a minute to change and then headed out again, but once he was home for the night his shoes went in the closet.

"Sunshine?" He called out softly, not wanting to startle anyone.

He noticed that the young girl didn't look towards him until after Rey did.

_Deaf or hard of hearing, _he heard his dad's voice in his head. His dad was notoriously well known for knowing when people had a certain disability but never drawing attention to it. As the owner of a large corporation he had to speak to people from all walks of life, and Kes Dameron was a fond memory for many of his conversation participants. Poe recalled a lesson his dad always repeated to him: Never ever ever talk to a person _through _their interpreter. Speak directly to the person, then divert attention to the interpreter to ensure they got the entire message, then resume eye contact with the person you're conversing with while they relay their response. No matter how little you understand, make sure the person knows that you know you're talking to _them._

Kes Dameron is a good man, Poe has many fond memories with his father.

"Poe!" Rey exclaimed, drawing him out of his mind. "You're home!"

Rey had maneuvered so that she was still mostly facing the girl so she could see her signing, but trained her attention to Poe.

"Anny, this is my...landlord? Roommate? Poe Dameron," Rey said softly, loud enough so Poe could hear, but quietly enough that no one could misinterpret who she was talking to; signing all the while.

The girl smiled and made eye contact with Poe, signing and mouthing her communication to him.

"This is Annika, she says you're not allowed to call her Anny yet. She is very pleased to meet you, but says to avoid stomping or talking loudly since her mom hasn't been sleeping well with Jaime's teething." Rey translated.

"Of course!" Poe responded softly, casting his eyes around the room to locate Annika's mother; he didn't see her so he made his way to the edge of the bar and leaned against it.

"Anny's mother," Rey spoke to Poe while signing, "is asleep in my bed. She's had a rough week with work and Jaime working on three molars. So I offered to step in for a while."

Annika studied Poe in a way that only small children and Maz Kanata can accomplish. Poe felt like he was stripped of his entire self and the child was staring directly at his soul. It was completely unnerving, but he stood his ground.

He felt silly, all but facing off with a child who couldn't be more than 7.

Annika promptly turned to Rey and began to sign rapid-fire. Even if Poe could understand what she was saying he knew he would be having trouble keeping up.

Rey blushed and signed back without speaking the words aloud or even mouthing along. Poe knew the conversation was about him instantly.

"What's going on?" Poe asked.

"My darling daughter just reprimanded Rey for not mentioning how incredibly handsome you are," a voice came from the hall entrance. "I'm Charlotte, but please call me Charlie."

Poe reached out and took her hand delicately, her handshake was nothing like Rey's. "Poe Dameron, Rey's new roommate."

He could just make out Rey signing "roommate," to Annika and winking at the child out of the corner of his eye.

"I was just letting Annika catch up on some sleep, and was maybe going to try to make her some dinner. Double up a recipe so she can take some home. But honestly, based on what's here I'm not sure what to make." Rey said, signing sheepishly and training her eyes to Poe's.

Poe smiled widely at his roommate. "I got this, worst case we feed Annika and Charlie whatever we make, they take what's left and we politely wait for them to leave and then order indian food."

Rey beamed, "I like that! Excellent back up plan, Mr. Dameron."

Poe blushed at the praise, and did his best to tamp it back down so Rey wouldn't notice.

His efforts were thwarted, however, when he looked up to see both Annika and Charlie smiling at him knowingly. It was a bit eerie, seeing the same face on two different people.

"So she's like, ridiculously friendly." Poe said to Rey as they worked together to load the dishwasher.

Rey was scraping and rinsing plates, and Poe was placing them on the rack.

"Oh my gosh, I know right?" Rey smiled, ignoring the tightening in her chest. Of _course_ Poe would develop a crush on Charlie. She had never met a man who didn't. She was tall and perky, and knew how to hold a conversation and have a good time. She knew how to make you feel completely comfortable to the point of spilling all your deepest darkest secrets. She was stupidly friendly, and had humour like a whip. Of _course_ Poe Dameron would develop a crush on Charlotte Beck. (A/N: Don't judge, I've been watching You on Netflix and it's the only last name I can think of right now).

Poe smiled at her good naturedly, in a way that made Rey forget about her jealousy in favour of focusing on how warm he made her feel just by _smiling_ at her.

Fuck, I'm in so much trouble. She thought.

"What were you and Annika talking about before Charlie woke up?"

"Charlie told you already, I refuse to inflate your ego." Rey retorted.

Poe let out a loud laugh, "fair point, sunshine," he conceded. "What were you talking about when I came home?"

Rey was silent for a moment, trying to recall.

Poe could tell precisely when she did, because she blushed.

"Oh, uh. Just about my day, really." She replied.

"And how was your day?" Poe floundered, "I'm so sorry I didn't ask before."

The remainder of the night with Charlie and Annika was spent teaching Poe some basic sign language, and Annika and Rey teasing him mercilessly when he accidentally said something else.

"Oh you know. Went to a coffee shop, ordered disgusting tea that I didn't drink but still paid for. Got spit on by your ex girlfriend. Ran into Rose and Finn who taught me what mochas and white chocolate mochas are, and then ran into Char. Came home to give Char some time to nap."

Poe reeled when the words caught up with him. "I'm sorry what?"

"Well Jaime has been staying up late because his teeth hurt, and then not napping during the day. So he and Char were both miserable out of their minds. And he would only sleep in the carrier so she couldn't even sleep while he was sleeping - "

"Sunshine!" Poe cut her off gently, "I know that part. What did you say about my ex? Spitting?"

"Oh," Rey deflated, obviously having hoped to avoid this conversation, but also didn't want to keep it from him. "I ran into Jess at the coffee shop with the gross tea, and she saw my necklace and freaked out. When I explained it really was a gift from you she said some not nice things, and things got heated and she spat on me. Finn and Rose were there too, so they sent her off before I could really do anything to her - not that I would. But I thought really hard about it in the moment and for like…maybe two hours afterwards." Rey was hopelessly rambling.

Poe quietly closed the dishwasher, then dried his hands on a cloth hanging from the handle. He looked Rey directly in the eye and held his hands out wide, not wanting to startle her and giving her ample time to move, before moving in to embrace her.

Immediately Rey's hand went up to his chest to clutch at the ring he wore around his neck, under his shirt.

"I don't understand why she freaked out about you giving me a chain," Rey whispered. "A lot of terrible things have been done to me, but I've never been _spat_ on. Who does that?"

Poe took a deep breath, nuzzling his nose into her hair, placing a chaste kiss on her forehead.

"Sunshine, I think it's time we had a talk," he whispered.

"About what?" Rey asked, tightening her grip on both him and the ring around his neck.

"Everything," he sighed. "Shall I make us some tea?" He pulled away slightly to look down at her face, resting his hands on her hips lightly.

Rey dimpled, "how about I let you heat up the water and I can show you how to make tea...again?"

Poe blushed slightly, "sounds fair. Then we can sit on the couch with your abundance of throws and have an all cards on the table talk. Yeah?"

Rey nodded, pulling him back for another hug.

Poe ran his hand up her back, keeping one arm firmly around her waist; savouring this moment.

Rey preened and burrowed her head into his chest.


	10. The Truth Shall Set You Free

Chapter Ten: The Truth Shall Set You Free

Wherein Rey explains a lot about her past, which causes Poe to connect the dots to a lot of her previously demonstrated odd behaviour. And in exchange he tells her all about growing up in Yavin, with a big tree house, and a parent who loved to bake.

"So where should we start?" Rey was curled up on the couch, her legs tucked underneath her, a blanket draped over her shoulders, and her nimble fingers gently wrapped around her favourite mug for tea.

After she moved in Poe quickly learned that she has a specific coffee mug - the sepia toned one with doodles of bees and wild flowers on it - and a specific tea mug - the tall red one with bright yellow bumble bees flying around it. She liked her bees, all of the plants in the house were bee friendly, and Rey refused to buy flowers sprayed with bee killing pesticides.

Poe sat at the other end of the couch, one leg propped up on the cushions between them, the other bent to his chest so he could rest his chin. He felt her toes tentatively make contact with his and shot her a small smile.

"Let's not make it into a huge thing. Let's start with ten things." He suggested.

"Ten?" Rey squeaked.

"Five," he amended. "Five things, they can be anything. Tit for tat. You tell me, I'll tell you."

"You have to tell me your happiest memories," she insisted. "In immense detail...please?"

He nodded, understanding. "Of course. I can do that for you, Rey."

The use of her proper name had her looking at him, understanding the weight of his statement, the utter truth behind it.

She took a small sip of her tea, and forced her body to relax slightly.

Poe shifted so his back was against the arm of the couch, his one leg was straightened and against the back of the couch, and his other was hanging over the edge with his foot planted on the floor.

Rey shifted so she sat in a mirrored version of Poe's position: one leg up, pressed against his, and the other bent down, foot flat on the floor. She cradled her tea cup as if it were a life preserver.

"Me first?" She whispered, keeping her eyes trained to the edge of the liquid in her mug.

"If that's alright," Poe replied easily.

Rey nodded, and he watched her stare go blank. As if she delved into the depths of her mind, so her body was here, but her consciousness was elsewhere.

Softly, she began to speak; "I told you I wasn't assaulted in that first home," she practically spat the word, "that turned out to be a sex trafficking ring, but I was repeatedly beaten. Even as a child I was really, sickeningly small. So they didn't think I would sell, so they had their own kind of fun with me instead - they couldn't beat the kids they were planning on selling, see, damaged product and all that. So I was a punching bag for a few months, until Dr. Jinn noticed and called in the authorities," Rey took a shuddering breath. "But that wasn't the worst of it. It was the second home that was the real issue. They were fostering this older kid, I don't remember his name, but I remember his face," she paused and began to shake ever so slightly.

Poe reached out and rested his hand on her shin, she flinched at the initial contact but relaxed almost instantly.

"Sorry," she breathed.

"Don't," Poe warned, "don't you dare apologize."

Rey nodded, and took a shuddering breath, "so there was this older kid right, and I guess he sort of had a history for raping his foster sisters, particularly the really young ones. You know if you hurt or scare a child enough and tell them that no one will believe them that they won't say anything? He banked on that every time, and won almost every time. He's in prison now, he got caught in the act during a surprise social worker visit after I left and he's been there ever since. I guess he kept trophies. Pictures, articles of clothing. Dr. Jinn talked to me about it when the trial was going on, saying that I should testify if I could remember anything, but he told me that in times of severe trauma your brain just…just loses it. Like it's either the memory or your sanity. So mine chose the memory."

They were silent for a moment, Rey drinking her tea, Poe trying to control the plethora of emotions that were threatening to spill over.

"So, anyways, I am logically aware that something happened. And I know that that sick fuck had a picture of me in his stash. But I don't remember anything."

Poe took a deep breath, trying to rein in his emotions.

"How old were you?" He asked.

"Almost 7, I think. Spent a lot of time in an orphanage after the first home fell through. I was there for either exactly two or just under two years, because the next time I was in an orphanage I was 9. By the time the trial rolled around I was 10."

They sat in silence for a few minutes while the information sunk in.

"Rey, love?" His voice came out hoarse and strained.

Rey looked up at him, blushing slightly from the endearment.

"I'm going to go change into pajamas - I think being comfortable might make this night easier...would it be alright if we sat...closer? When I get back?"

Rey nodded almost imperceptibly.

"Don't say yes for my sake." Poe's voice held a slight edge.

"I wouldn't," she replied softly.

Poe nodded once, and headed to his room to change.

He returned a few minutes later to see that Rey hadn't moved. He had thought about loaning her a shirt to wear, since she enjoyed wearing his clothes sometimes; he would catch her in an old button up, or a stolen t-shirt. He didn't mind in the slightest. This time he completely forgot she was already wearing some pilfered clothes, and he was half a second away from offering her more.

"How would you like to sit?" He asked, coming up to the couch as quietly as his bare feet would allow. He had changed into some joggers and a t shirt that he was almost certain was older than him.

"Um," was all Rey could reply.

"Alright how about this," he said, sitting back in his original position. "Now come here," he gestured to the gap between his legs. The couch was overly deep for the sake of comfort, so she would fit perfectly.

Rey nodded and scooted down to sit with him, she turned and rested her back against his chest.

"I'm going to wrap my arms around you, okay?" Poe whispered into her hair.

"I think it would be easier to talk like this," Rey mumbled, "I don't have to see the look of horror on your face as new details come to light."

Poe felt himself blush, "I can't help it."

"Oh I know, don't worry about it. I've become desensitized to it, so I barely register that it's not a normal occurrence, let alone that it warrants horror."

Poe nodded, nuzzling his nose into her hair, she had taken it down earlier and he could smell her shampoo whenever she moved her head.

She snuggled deeper into his embrace and rested her arms atop his, "but it's your turn," she whispered.

Poe pressed a light kiss on her temple, suddenly not caring about the age difference.

"My dad used to bake all the time. He would make pies, muffins, strudels, you name it, he could bake it. But he absolutely loved baking bread." Poe smiled at the memory.

He felt Rey nod against his chest.

"So on Saturday mornings, we would watch my cartoons together until about 9am, while eating atrocious amounts of cereal of course, and then we would get to work," Poe smirked. "Dad would get me to help him mix all the ingredients, and we would each make a loaf of bread, or a big piece of flatbread, or some focaccia."

"Focaccia?" Rey interrupted softly.

"An italian flat bread, absolutely delicious, we can make some tomorrow. Anyway, what we made each saturday... it all depended on what my dad was making for dinner that night with my mom - which I would also help out with where I could. I was a super helpful child," he half boasted.

Rey snorted, "I'm sure, Mister 3-in-1 body wash/shampoo/conditioner."

"Hey, I didn't know any better!"

"And your hair and skin have been singing my praises every day."

He nodded, conceding her point. His hair and skin did feel a lot nicer.

"Anyways. My favourite part was punching the dough after we let it rise. So you let it rise in a warm place, usually we put it in a metal bowl, then filled the sink with hot water and let the bowl float in the water with a damp cloth over it. So then it doubles in size, and dad let me punch down both loaves. For some reason it felt super important, and I loved that he loved letting me do both. Then we would knead our respective loaves and then bake them. We would bake other things too, usually whatever I wanted to grab for snacks throughout the week. So we made a lot of blueberry muffins."

"I love blueberry lemon muffins," Rey practically moaned.

"Well we can make some of those tomorrow too," he chuckled.

Rey tried to ignore the warm feeling in her chest, but she was literally surrounded by this man. She could feel his laughter reverberating in her chest, she could smell the remnants of his cologne every time he moved, and she could feel the rise and fall of his chest with every breath he took.

_You are __**not**_ _falling for this man. You are much too young to be of any interest to him, and what are you doing right now? Telling him your horrific and terrifying backstory. No one wants anything to do with you after that!_

"Your turn, love," Poe murmured, his mouth close to her ear.

She wrote off the involuntary shudder that ran up her spine.

"So," she began after a few moments of silent contemplation, "you know how I get scared when people are loud, or when people are angry?"

She could feel Poe nod.

"Well, that's because in almost all of the homes I was placed in there was always a drunk adult. Weather it was a foster parent, or a sibling of theirs that would hang around the house. After I turned 10 I was usually on the older end of the spectrum of the collection of kids at these homes. And you could always tell when things were going to get ugly. A lot of broken drunk old men like to beat up small kids. According to Dr. Jinn it's a fairly regular thing, more regular than he is comfortable with anyway. So anyway. I knew the signs to look out for. The stomping, throwing things, sharp words, so on and so on. I knew what to look for, but I also knew that those kids were _so small."_

Poe couldn't imagine Rey thinking of anyone as small, she was _tiny._

"They were _so small, _Poe," her voice broke and he tightened his arms around her slightly. "There were toddlers, Poe, toddlers who could barely even talk yet. So I just...made sure that they would find me first. I would make a fuss, or throw shit back, or scream, anything. _Anything. _To keep them away from those kids."

Poe shifted and pulled Rey so she was literally on his lap, he buried his face into her neck and held her as close as possible.

"I don't think I could have lived with myself if I didn't, you know?"

Poe shook his head, because he didn't. He had no idea. His parents disciplined him, but they never once laid a hand on him. Ever. A few strong words here and there, sometimes threatening to throw out all of his toys, more than a handful of times of bed without supper. But he could not imagine an adult _hitting_ a child.

"So yeah, angry people. Angry people who are bigger than me - which is _everyone,_ I _know that._" She scoffed, "angry people who are bigger than me sometimes throw me into a panic."

Poe nodded in understanding, because of course they would.

"I really don't know what to say, Rey," he whispered in a broken voice, keeping his face buried in her neck. "You are _so good._ You are the kind of person that people write books about."

Rey shrugged one shoulder, "it was the right thing to do, Poe."

He nodded, and planted a light kiss on her shoulder.

After a few moments, he felt Rey move to wipe her face, and she sniffled. "Your turn."

"My dad inherited his house from his parents, so he's literally never lived anywhere else. And when he was a kid he and his dad planted a sapling in the backyard. They never cut it down or anything, just kinda built up the yard around it for it to grow. And anyway, the tree is like 60 years old or something like that, so one summer when I was...maybe 12, so the tree was in its 40s then, my dad decided the tree was finally - _finally - _ready for a tire swing. So we spent a day in the dead of summer, like ridiculously hot, clothes stick to your skin, but it's almost worse to go without, kind of hot, putting the damn swing up. I was so excited. I got to climb the tree and hang out on the branch where the tire was going to hang, so my dad could throw the rope up at me, and then he talked me through this super complicated knot, which I messed up like 30 times, I swear. My dad had insisted on buying like 7 ropes instead of one, and as an adult thinking about it now I totally understand why, because me fucking around with that first rope totaly frayed the end and I wouldn't want that to be what my swing started off on, you know?"

Rey shrugged, because she didn't, but he felt her shoulders lose tension, and she rested her head against his chest.

"Anyway, I totally messed up the first, second, and third rope. I had blisters all over my fingers, and I was starving by the end of the day; but I insisted on staying in that damn tree until I got the knot just right. Once I did my dad tied the other end around the tire in an even more complicated knot - which he got _on the first try._ And to this very day I have no idea how he did it."

Rey snickered, "you know he probably knew he was going to put up a tire swing soon and started practicing the knot small scale. Like with a shoelace or a sweater string."

Poe blanched, "you know, I never considered that before."

Rey let out a hearty laugh that Poe could feel in his chest.

"Your turn, love."

"Alright, sorry this one is kinda dark, but going over the horror of my foster homes is pretty easy since they were all pretty much like that. And the good ones sent me back because I didn't know how to act like a normal human being. I never talked, and would flinch at everything, I would pilfer the pantry and stash food; I would steal clothes from everyone in the house to keep in my duffel bag so when they sent me back I would have more things that were sort of mine."

Poe nodded and lifted his hand to run his fingers through her hair.

Rey leaned her head into his ministrations and continued: "anyway. This is going to get kind of dark, but kind of not."

"As if this entire conversation hasn't been dark? Go on," Poe teased lightly.

"Despite everything that happened. Despite everything I went through, I never once considered committing suicide. I mean, that's not true, the thought crossed my mind when it happened at one of the foster homes, but it was immediately dismissed. I've never seriously considered it."

Poe tightened his arm around her and continued twirling her hair with his other hand.

"Even when I was being threatened with sexual assault, even when I was being hit on or cornered by 40 year old virtual strangers, even when I was being kicked around by foster siblings, it never occurred to me to just...stop...existing? I would shut myself off though. I would mentally check out, and just disappear into my mind, forgetting all feeling and interaction; distancing myself from any and all physical stimuli. Dr. Jinn told me that's what likely saved me from being like many of the other foster kids - once they age out they fall into drugs or abusive relationships, or end up in jail. But I just...had to teach myself how to be a person again. Sure, it took a long, _long_, time. But Dr. Jinn said he would rather walk me through naming and expressing my emotions than the alternative. I still struggle with feelings, by the way, anything that isn't anger or fear-based, I'm usually at a loss of what to do, but Dr. Jinn and I are working on it. But my visits have been reduced to once every two weeks, unless I have a really bad break, then it's every week." Rey took a breath, "sorry, am I rambling? I feel like I'm rambling."

Poe removed his hand from her hair and entwined his fingers with hers. "It's alright, sunshine," he brought her hand up to his mouth and placed a small kiss on her knuckles.

"What happened to love?" She whispered.

"I never got explicit permission to call you that," he replied easily.

"Shit, I said that out loud."

He could sense the rising unease in her and decided to change the subject, "who is Dr. Jinn?"

"Dr Jinn has been my therapist since I was put in the system, technically I should have gotten a new one after I was officially adopted out, but he's an old friend of Old Ben's and he pulled some strings, and he's my therapist for as long as I'll have him," Rey pulled away so she could look at him, "you realize this means you have to tell me two right?"

Poe smirked and tightened his grip on her hand. "Alright, I've got a good one. Hopefully when I'm done telling you that one I can think of another one."

Rey nodded, encouraging him to go on.

"When I was a kid, before my mom died," Poe began, "I used to think I was a magical gardener."

Rey sputtered out a laugh, "I beg your pardon?"

"Okay, so," Poe adjusted like he was preparing to tell a grand tale, which made Rey's heart swell in her chest. "I was obsessed with the idea of having a garden, probably the summer I turned 7. I was so excited, my mom helped me plant all these seeds in neat little rows in a patch outside my bedroom window. For like, a week I stared at it every day, checking the soil's moisture levels, making sure it got enough sun. So on and so forth."

Rey nodded, encouraging him to continue.

"So anyway, I wake up one morning and check on my garden, to see that it's full."

Rey's eyes widened comically.

"I don't mean of sprouts, I mean of fully grown, full-fledged vegetables. I had big, healthy, orange pumpkins, carrots the size of my arm - which at 7, mind you, is about an average sized carrot. And turnips, and potatoes. Everything that my mom and I had planted had suddenly appeared overnight. I was so excited. We made the most bullshit hodgepodge stew that night, which in my memory was delicious, but I have a feeling my parents omitted a few of my choice ingredients and fixed it on their own, so I won't even try to recreate that for you until after I talk to my dad."

Rey dimpled, feeling a warm blooming in her chest at the idea of someday, maybe, meeting Poe's father.

"That happened like four or five times that summer, and with every 'harvest' we would spend the day making the stew, and various kinds of breads to accompany it. Mom told me not to plant any fruit though, because no amount of magic in the world would make those grow faster than they wanted to."

Rey snickered, realizing at the same time Poe did that that meant that his mom hadn't wanted to hunt down a berry bush and transplant it into his magical garden.

"Oh my gods, I'm such a dork. Anyway, I didn't know until about three years later that it was all a hoax, but I still think about it a lot. Like, what a great thing to do for your kid, you know?"

Rey shrugged because, again, she really didn't, but liked to encourage Poe anyway.

"Dad still teases me about it, because for that entire summer I very proudly proclaimed that I was a magician with a magic vegetable patch. Even the local grocer heard my story, likely knowing damn well that my mom and dad had been in once every week or so loading up on various vegetables to throw back into the dirt at home." Poe shook his head, a sad sort of smile gracing his features.

Rey leaned back towards Poe and snuggled into his chest, sensing that he needed her proximity right now. Well, maybe not hers in particular, but proximity nonetheless.

Poe wrapped his arms around her small frame and buried his nose in her hair.

They laid there for a few minutes, sprawled out on the couch, draped over one another. Neither one wanting to acknowledge the palpable shift in the atmosphere, let alone the one they both experienced in their hearts. Both stubbornly stuck on the idea that the other did not want this, no matter how good it felt.

"You have to take another turn, Poe." Rey whispered against his chest.

"Hmm," he hummed in response.

Rey felt her eyelids grow heavy as she waited for him to start his story. With her head resting against his chest she could hear his heart beating wildly. Tentatively, she reached a hand up and began fiddling with the frayed collar of the shirt.

Almost instantly, she heard Poe's heart rate pick up; but a selfish part of her decided to continue her ministrations.

Poe ran one of his hands up her back and began playing with the ends of her hair. Rey felt herself relax, and heard Poe's heart rate begin to steady as well. She smiled softly to herself.

"My dad refused to fall into himself after my mom died," Poe said suddenly, "I mean, obviously he was crushed. His best friend, his _person_, was gone. Forever gone. He was really quiet, and not quite himself for awhile, but he was always there for me. We shared a bed for a few months, because I would just cry and cry in my bed - after Christmas, of course. Because remember I convinced myself she would be back for Christmas. Anyway, I cried a lot, missing my mom; dad cried a lot, missing his person, his other half. But we never turned away from each other. He never stopped being a dad, you know? Shit sorry, no you don't. Gods, I've been saying that all night haven't I?"

Sleepily, Rey nodded against his chest, "it's okay. You're more looking for affirmation to continue speaking. Everyone does it." She yawned into her hand.

She felt Poe nod before he continued. "But yeah, dad loved being my mom's husband, but he loved being a dad more. He always told me he saw a lot of her in me when I was a kid, so he never really felt like she was completely gone. And he knew that if there is an afterlife, if he slacked on his duties to me she would kick his ass for all of eternity," Poe let out a small chuckle.

Rey hummed a small laugh in response.

"When I was 17 he gave me my necklace," Poe and Rey both reached for the object in question, not questioning how their fingers wound themselves together over the ring. "It was my mother's wedding ring, see. And he told me to keep it close, and to only give it to the right person. I couldn't go giving it away all willy-nilly. I had to know in my heart and soul, in my very _bones_, that the person I would give this to would be my person. My better half. Just like my mom was to my dad."

Rey smiled and tightened her grip on the ring and Poe's hand, "that's why Jess freaked out," she murmured.

She felt Poe nod again, "I guess she thought that the necklace you're wearing was my mom's ring. Which, while I was ready to marry her, I had no intention of giving her my mom's ring."

"Then you didn't really want to marry her for love, then," Rey stated simply. "Did you?"

"I guess not...I just didn't want to admit it to myself," Poe sighed, exhausted from their night.

"My turn," Rey said softly. "This one isn't so bad, really. But you'll probably think it's sad."

Poe grunted in response.

"I don't know when my actual birthday is, they just put the day that they found me on their paper so I could have a birth certificate and identification documents; I don't know when I was born, I just know I was found on September 21st; they guessed the year I was born after running some tests. I vaguely remember having my wrist x-rayed."

"Oh, sunshine." Poe ran his hands up and down her spine soothingly. "I'm sorry the universe dealt you shitty hand after shitty hand."

She shrugged, "excelsior!" She exclaimed with quiet, subdued vigor.

"Pardon me?"

"I read it in a book once," she replied, nuzzling further into his chest. "Means ever upwards, or something like that."

Poe chuckled softly, and the pair found themselves toeing the line between asleep and awake, tangled in each other on the couch.

"Sunshine?" Poe whispered after a few minutes.

Rey didn't respond, she was fast asleep against his chest.

"I have one last confession to make," Poe murmured into her hair. "And I don't want you to take it the wrong way that I'm not going to tell you when you're awake. I'm too much of a coward for that."

Rey stirred slightly in his arms, making herself more comfortable in her sleep.

"I think I'm falling in love with you," Poe admitted, pressing a small kiss on her forehead.


End file.
